WARDY'S WAGERS
The brand new column by Britain's funniest tipster
THEY say never take your work home with you.
I learned that lesson the hard way when I spent a summer working in a funeral home.
My ex-girlfriend was not best pleased. She always said I overdramatised things.
She may have been right – I split up with her using the medium of dance.
Cricketer Ben Stokes and rugby player Danny Cipriani should have heeded the advice of not taking their work home, or on a night out, with them.
Stokes should have left dealing with bouncers on the field. And Cipriani should have left the rucks to the scrum on the rugby pitch.
Recently the news has been like watching a show called Celebrity Court Case.
If I wanted to see a bad boy sportsman who had trouble with the law on telly, I’d watch Jermaine Pennant in the Celebrity Big Brother house.
But Jermaine has not been the main talking point so far.
That honour still rests with Stormy Daniels, who threw a spanner in the works on the first night by not making a famous entrance.
Something that can’t be said of President Donald Trump and Stormy’s underwear, so she claims. After Stormy’s revelations about Trump, she reignited her career as a porn star. Say what you like about the under-fire president but he gets people back to work. Looking at the rest of the housemates, though, I don’t blame her for bailing. Most of the “slebs” aren’t even household names in their own house.
Human Ken Doll Rodrigo Alves, whose face resembles Simon Cowell’s these days, also caused controversy by using the N-word, and not Nonentity, which would have summed him up perfectly. The producers did not kick him out. It’s one reason why it’s losing viewers quicker than Boris Johnson losing offers to speak at local Mosques.
My money is on gorgeous model Chloe Ayling, above, at 20-1. If she can convince an Italian judge that she was kidnapped, I reckon she can win viewers over.
Odds to win CBB (Paddy Power): Ryan Thomas 9-4, Rodrigo Alves 9-2, Kirstie Alley 6-1, Roxanne Pallett, 8-1, Gabby Allen 10-1, Chloe Ayling, 20-1.