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MY boyfriend fancies much older women.
He’s admitted that he only stays with me because I give him credibility and cover.
I’m 29, but left to his own devices he’d rather be with a woman 30, 40 or even 50 years my senior.
He simply says that the older women he chats to online are more interesting and sexy.
He believes their experiences and wisdom put them head and shoulders above younger women.
When I point out that older women also tend to have healthy savings accounts and pensions too, he doesn’t deny it. But he perseveres with the argument that silver surfers tend to be better dressed and more wellgroomed than modern girls.
Dirty
They always, he says, make an effort with their hair and makeup and buy good clothes. Well, thanks a bunch.
He swears that he has never physically cheated on me during the 18 months we’ve been together. But, when pushed, he does admit to flirting with and talking dirty to his online grannies.
The other night we had a dreadful row during which he also admitted that grandma porn is his weapon of choice when he really needs to get in the mood for real sex with me.
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. What does any of this make me? He says that he can’t explain his tastes.
Apparently, he’s always been the same – always fancied his friends’ mothers, aunts and grandmothers when growing up. He admits that before me he was with a mature lady, only he won’t tell me her age or any other details.
He was forced to finish with her because his mother and father didn’t approve.
He insists that he loves me and this takes nothing away from our relationship. But he’s not prepared to lie about who is he and what turns him on.
JANE SAYS: There’s nothing wrong with your guy fancying older women – it takes all sorts to make a world. But what he really can’t do is continue to use you in order to keep his parents sweet.
Clearly they still have a lot of influence over him. Is this because they regularly give him money or he’s hoping to inherit?
If they’re deeply religious or conventional in their thinking then that’s something he needs to take up with them.
He needs to explain that he’s a man with a life and particular taste of his own and that’s not about to change any time soon.
I worry that the longer you stay with this man, the more your confidence and self-esteem are going to take a bashing, because you know that his real interests lie elsewhere. If he’s more attracted to older women, then that’s who he should be with instead of you.
Tell him he can access as many porn sites and call as many chatlines, as he likes – as a single man. The problem is that you’re not what he’s looking for in a woman and you’re wasting your life by hanging around.
Don’t allow yourself to be brought down by this. Get out there with your head held high. He was never good for you and you’re not together for the right reasons.