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MY girl has become a shallow, cash and sexobsessed nightmare.
We’ve been together for four years and I hardly recognise her any more.
Her new job forces her to spend four nights a week in London. She travels down and stays with an old mate, returning home on Friday evenings.
The first thing she does when she sees me is push me onto the bed for sex.
There’s no: “Hello, how are you? Shall we have a cup of tea?” No, she insists on getting straight down to business and I frequently feel insulted and used.
Last weekend she was horrible. She’d had a row with a client just before boarding her train and took her frustrations out on me.
Pathetic
She was aggressive, angry and rude. I wanted to kiss and cuddle, but she slapped me and ordered me to “get on with it”.
Then she accused me of being too slow and pathetic, so she got on top and took control.
She literally had me pinned to the mattress and I could hardly breathe.
Once she’d climaxed she rolled off and demanded a Chinese, not caring a jot that I hadn’t even orgasmed.
Later, I accused her of acting appallingly and she thought it was funny.
The next day she went out on a massive spending spree, buying all sorts of rubbish just because she could.
I pointed out that she was being shallow and brattish and we had the most horrendous row. She yelled that I’m small town and jealous, but I’m really not.
It’s just I don’t like the person she’s become.
I don’t blame London, her boss – who she is obsessed with – or anyone else, but I think she should be mature enough to take on a demanding career without her turning into a full-blown diva. JANE SAYS: There have been a lot of significant changes in your girlfriend’s life recently.
From taking on a big job to spending nights away from home, I suspect her brain is all over the place. She is not only busy and successful, but she’s feeling rather pleased with herself, too.
But she can’t lose sight of who she is and forget her manners along the way.
You and she have been together for a significant amount of time.
Presumably you’ve supported and encouraged her during her climb to the top, so for her to now start pinning you to the mattress and verbally abusing you is worrying and plain wrong.
As for the slap, if that wasn’t administered in a playful or consensual way, then was it assault?
Does it need to be reported as domestic assault? I don’t want to sound heavy-handed, but have to ask the question if a line was crossed.
If she’s struggling to cope with the responsibilities and the commute, then she needs to start being honest about her feelings and her limits.
What she can’t do is continue to take advantage of you and push you around.
Insist on some time apart while you think things through.
Confide in a friend or family member, but above all do not allow yourself to be put down or disrespected.