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I WORK away a lot and think I may be going out of my mind.
I love my girl so much, but friends keep telling me that she’s a cheat.
They say that she goes off the rails the minute I fly out of our local airport. I keep being warned that she’s making a fool of me, but she denies everything.
She claims that my best mate, in particular, is the most jealous and resentful person she’s ever met.
She believes that he’s desperate to break us up because he is secretly in love with me – and always has been.
I don’t know about that. I have seen him with loads of girls over the years since school and he’s been engaged four times.
Vicious
I’ll admit he’s never liked or trusted my girl, but would he really spread vicious rumours just to finish us? I don’t see it.
Yet the rumours endure. He and his cousins claim they’ve seen her down our local pubs and clubs putting herself about. They say she dresses like a nightmare and gets off with every bloke in sight.
They have even told me about a story which involved a hotel suite, a bag of sex toys and her plus an entire rugby team.
Whenever I’m abroad for work I text her all the time to ask her what she’s doing.
She comes back with perfectly reasonable alibis from visiting her auntie to redecorating her bedroom.
She continues to swear that she’s never done anything to hurt me. Yet that’s very difficult to swallow when I’m hundreds of miles away and my mates are chewing my ears off with the most outrageous tales.
The latest thing is that my boss wants me to go to America for nine months. What am I supposed to do when I’m getting so many mixed messages?
JANE SAYS: Many people make long-distance relationships work.
But I don’t get the impression that this arrangement is working for you. You’re too unsure of yourself (and your relationship) and too paranoid. I hate the idea of you sitting in your hotel room or company flat, chewing your nails while working yourself up into a frenzy.
Wouldn’t you be better off wiping the slate clean and concentrating on your career for the foreseeable future?
If your boss is offering you an opportunity in America, then grab it with both hands and see where that experience takes you.
I have no way of knowing what your girlfriend is getting up to or what motivates your friends, but I feel you’re currently spreading yourself too thin. The next time you’re home, speak to your girl about the rumours, the stories and the pressure you’re under.
Does she honestly think you have a future or are you both wasting your time? Only you can decide if she’s telling the truth about her nights without you.
Tell your mate you don’t want to hear any more stories because they’re exhausting.
If he really is in love with you, then that’s something he needs to start being clear about.
At the moment you’re being overwhelmed and deeply distracted and that can’t continue.