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ROBIN HOOD (12A)
IF you thought Russell Crowe’s Robin Hood movie got bogged down in medieval history you might have some sympathy for Otto Bathurst.
Here the 47-year-old director tries to make an 800-year-old folk story relevant to the kids.
Sadly, it turns out that this idea is just as patronising as it sounds.
In this witless adventure, Taron Egerton’s Robin of Loxley (Rob to his pals) is a rich “toff” who receives a handwritten notice to fight in the Crusades.
In Arabia, we see him sporting a medieval version of the flak jacket as his “unit” of bow-wielding soldiers raid a guerrilla base, a sequence that is shot in the style of the video game Call Of Duty.
After he tries to stop his commander Gisbourne (Paul Anderson) from torturing captured Arabs, Rob is sent back home to medieval Nottingham which looks just like Game Of Thrones’ Kings Landing (a CGI enhanced Dubrovnik doubles for both). There he is reunited with a Moor called John (Jamie Foxx) who has stowed away on an English ship to start a global revolution in the East Midlands.
Pay attention during Foxx’s ridiculous opening speech where he details why he and Rob should team up to steal from Ben Mendelsohn’s Sheriff of Nottingham. It is the only time the film tries to make sense of its own plot.
He returns to find his girlfriend Marian (Eve Hewson, daughter of Bono) has left him for Will Scarlett (Jamie Dornan), a local politician who has been pointlessly lobbying for votes in feudal England.
Rob plays the rich playboy by day, but by night he is a masked avenger called The Hood, who can somersault in the air while firing multiple arrows in slow motion.
This medieval Batman made me miss the men in tights.