=FI><K ÊJKPC<Ë# @KËJ J@DGCP 8 >FF; :8I
AM I going mad? I must be because I really like the new Volkswagen T-Roc.
“Why not?” I hear you ask. “It’s a great looking motor. Who wouldn’t like it?”
Ah. Now you’re getting near to answering my question. Actually, its looks are one of the reasons I wouldn’t like it.
Yet I did. So how have I achieved this? Simple. By ignoring the fact that it’s got every fashion style made to appeal to idiot morons who buy a car purely because of its looks and what it can do, regardless of the fact that these features are completely redundant. Let’s start with looks.
From any angle the T-Roc appears to be the business. It’s got sturdy looking wheel-arch and lower door protection guards so when you’re off road and scraping through a rockstrewn track it won’t get damaged.
Look again. They’re plastic and they might save you getting a scratch in the supermarket car park.
OK, it’s got silver roof rails. Why? You’ll never, ever, use them.
So what about all the fancy design around the radiator grille and the front and rear bumpers? Yeah, all that plastic trim looks cool but it’s just to let in the air, not to turn it into a fighter jet. Yep, from the outside your T-Roc looks really mean and tough. That’s what counts, even if it’s all just for show.
Now let’s turn to the inside where you’ll discover that the car I drove comes with the totally essential musthave of four-wheel-drive.
Well, “essential” to people who live on a farm, or on a road-free desert island, but not to the majority of T-Roc buyers who say: “It’s there if you need it,” then turn it on at the first sign of rain.
To make matters worse VW’s 4WD system comes with four different driving modes.
Rubbish
Fair enough there will be times when “snow mode” comes in useful but by then it could have seized up for lack of use, like the “off-road mode” that’s as much good to normal drivers as the car’s visible twin exhausts (see Backside Beauty in the Image Rating).
Sorry, but there’s so much of this useless rubbish around that I fully expect would-be T-Roc owners to complain about the car’s hard-faced plastic around its otherwise poshlooking interior. Why? It doesn’t matter. What difference does it make?
Personally they could have chiselled it from rock for all I care.
No, all the marketing crap and appearance gizmos don’t make any difference to me, but what does is the fact that the T-Roc is a superbly comfortable, quiet and fuel-efficient car that makes far more sense than the fact that Volkswagen has fitted it out with a “Flint Grey and Black Cloth” interior or that the final paint job of my car was “Energetic Orange.” Who cares? I cared that its boot is 2ft 6in deep, turning into a completely flat 5ft with the rear seatbacks folded down, that it’s got two SD card readers and a CD player in the glove box, two USB points by the auto gear lever, a sliding pop-out drawer under the driver’s seat and is as well equipped with usable features as far more expensive motors.
I cared that it’s got a fantastic easyto-use stereo, proper door pockets, a deep centre console, a fold-out rear arm rest with twin cup holders and enough rear leg room for adults.
I also liked its smart 10-spoke alloys (even if they are there just to add to the show).
Trouble is, they wouldn’t look much good once the farmer had finished with them.