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I’VE got a nasty feeling that my married boss is using me for sex.
We meet up in secret a couple of nights a week.
She books into a local hotel on Wednesdays and Thursdays to avoid her long commute home.
I’m invited to join her in a plush suite. She orders up room service, we drink wine and make love like a pair of demons.
We love bondage, sex toys and erotic fiction.
Physically we’re very well matched and love to surprise and shock each other with different positions, role-playing games and jokey punishments.
We do role reversal stuff where I’m the stern boss and she’s the subservient lover. It’s a laugh.
Paranoid
In private she’s wonderful; she’s really sexy, funny and warm. But back in the office, she treats me like rubbish.
I think she’s so paranoid about other people (and especially her possessive husband) finding out about us she overcompensates.
She openly criticises my work and bawls me out in front of other co-workers. She tells me that I’m underprepared and stupid in meetings and it hurts.
One afternoon in the boardroom she simply wouldn’t get off my case about a messed-up order that wasn’t even my fault. She went on and on, banging the table and throwing stuff around. In the end I nearly broke down and cried.
A senior colleague, who has been with the firm for 20 years, was furious. He insisted she calm down or he’d call HR. The whole thing was mortifying.
Later, she vaguely hissed an apology at me in the corridor, but it didn’t sound very sincere.
I know she’s trying to show that she doesn’t have favourites, but I’m not made of stone.
Now I’ve just had a text from her telling me that she’s looking forward to resuming our old routine.
In other words, the hotel suite – and I don’t know how I feel about that any more.
If I turn her down then will she look for an excuse to sack me? JANE SAYS: You have to start this new year as you mean to go on.
If you no longer wish to have sordid sex with your married user of a boss, put your foot down now.
Tell her “no thanks” and don’t feel guilty or embarrassed about it. You’re only human and you can only take so much.
Surely you’ve got to see that this is crunch time. That incident in the boardroom was an appalling display and total abuse of power.
She loves her midweek hotel specials, but you’re never going to be a committed couple. I understand that you are frightened about the future, but enough is enough.
Work out what you want from life and start looking for a new job on your own terms. Perhaps your HR executive needs to be told about the bullying you have endured.
Ensure you learn from this mess. Go into your next relationship with eyes wide open and avoid married individuals and anyone you work with like the plague.
It sounds like your lover/boss has got herself into a state; she likes being married, but doesn’t like being faithful. But that’s for her to sort out.