E<N P<8IËJ ?<8M<$?F

HOW are your New Year’s resolutions coming along?

One of mine is to give up sexual innuendos. Which is going to be extremely hard.

I’m trying to lose 15lbs in January. I’m also trying to cut out cigarettes and meat.

Though I’ve always found it rather strange that smoking too much will kill you, and eating too much bacon will kill you.

But smoking bacon will cure it.

There seems to be no cure for the spread of vegan propaganda in Britain.

You can’t open a paper or watch the telly without someone bangingon about it.

Even everyone’s favourite baker has tried to get into the act.

Greggs hit the headlines with a great marketing stunt of launching a vegan sausage roll. But there is as much chance of a vegan going into a Greggs than there is something sensible coming out of Piers Morgan’s mouth. I have an inbuilt radar to find Greggs wherever I am. I call it my fat-nav. I’ve always admired the firm’s understanding of its customers. It’s why its shops have the widest entrances on the High Street. I once got away with stealing a dessert from Greggs. It was a piece of cake. Liverpool fans were almost believing their march to the title was a cakewalk.

But Man City threw the cat among the eclairs with an impressive win on Thursday. Liverpool are known to bottle it quicker than a Coca-Cola factory when it comes to the title.

And I reckon they will stumble at the final hurdle again this year. Man City will just prove too strong come May. LIVERPOOL

– 5-6 MAN CITY

– 11-10 TOTTENHAM

– 16-1