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PAINFUL: Kelly Brook °

if stunning kelly brook is having problems with her heavy boobs, I’ll gladly help by holding them for her! mr. g. wizz, suffolk

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Kelly may complain that her large knockers are causing her back pain, but remember my dear, it is them that have earned you enough money to pay for any medical treatment you may require. Chicken George

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Feel sorry 4 Kelly Brook having 2 diet coz ample figure causing discomfort. Good luck 2 her she’s a beautiful woman. Jimi Peters diss norfolk

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I agree with ‘snelgrave, glaschu’ about Billy Connolly. His rant about Ken Bigley was disgusting, and I have never watched him since. I can’t even stand hearing his name. The thought of an airport named after him horrifies me. Joan E. West Mids

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snelgrave, glaschu: aiport name should be. Denis Law Airport. Best scot ever after my mum. Dave Mac. Cornwall

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I used to really enjoy Gogglebox, thinking that it was genuine. Yet one of the Siddiqui family wrote that they were a bit nervous getting ready in the green room. Green room? Isn’t that in a TV studio? Southern Cazza

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But of course Gemma Collins has an unfair advantage over the other contestants on Dancing On Ice. She can cover the whole of the rink without actually moving.

Golden Oldie

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I simply adore TV’s Les Miserables, but can’t work out which one is Les. Lotus Lil

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picture of Simon Cowell and Subo together. Which ones which? Andy Sheffield

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Simon Cowell must be loving Susan Boyle being back. Kerching!! Anon

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I entered a blond geek competition last weekend. I won fair and square. fat eric

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I saw a sports car driven by a scantily-clad sheep. It was a lamb bikini. boris the spider