Daily Star

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- Black Corton Napier

I ONCE met a girl who took a shine to me after I haggled on the price to go skating at my local ice rink.

Turns out she loves a cheap skate. I’m not really a fan of the sport as I took to ice skating like a duck to ice skating.

I find it very hard to balance and my long gangly legs make me look like a struggling baby deer with skates on.

Which worked out well in the end as I spent 10 years starring as Bambi in the touring show of Disney On Ice.

Talking of memories best consigned to history – do you remember all the uproar and protests on the streets when ITV axed Dancing On Ice? No, me neither. Because nobody shed a tear.

It was a fairly diabolical show with a bunch of barely recognisab­le slebs badly attempting to ice skate.

So its axing in 2014 seemed to be a perfectly sensible and wise move.

Yet ITV bosses must have had a blow to the head or have run out of show ideas entirely as they have brought the show back from the dead.

It eventually turns out it was not killed off but just kept on ice.

But it’s the most unwanted comeback since the return of Swine Flu.

Another set of has-beens, never-weres and Frenchy from Grease are currently sticking on the sequins to try to impress the judges.

The panel includes Torvill and Dean, or “the Rick Astley of ice skating” as I like to call them for their ability to milk one achievemen­t in the eighties for so long.

Previous winners of the show were the best dancers, and this year that is likely to be Strictly star James Jordan or Love Island fella Wes Nelson – but I have a feeling Corrie fave Jane Danson will take the spoils.

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WES2-1 JORDAN BLACK SAARA MELOD10-1, JA11-1 COL
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FELL for a girl awful once who was choice tests. at multiple all the boxes. She ticked ticks all the me in the 2.05pm boxes for at Casino Chase 32RedKempt­on today. BETTING – (UNIBET) – 6-1
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