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MY girlfriend has caught the cleaning and tidying bug in a big way.
If she’s not clearing out cupboards and taking stuff to the charity shop, she’s bleaching the kitchen until it squeaks.
She’s become obsessed with media gurus Mrs Hinch and Marie Kondo and this doesn’t feel like my home any more.
I’m not allowed to shower if the bathroom has just been blitzed or sit down if the cushions have been plumped.
Suddenly my wardrobe contains three pairs of jeans and five T-shirts and she can’t tell me where everything else has gone.
The other day I brought some mates back from work and she went mad because she was in the middle of deep-cleaning the cooker and the fridge.
Attack
The air was so thick with disinfectant that I thought my asthmatic mate might have an attack.
In the end she forced us down the pub, which was so embarrassing as it was my turn to host the boss and order up a curry.
It’s just typical of her to jump on the latest bandwagon. A couple of years ago it was all about Feng Shui, then it was Hygge.
Inbetween we’ve had mindfulness, clean eating and goat yoga. I do love her but find her very impressionable and extreme.
Currently, the smell of furniture polish is doing my head in. Tension is at an all-time high.
She won’t have visitors over and we’re not having sex because it’s too messy. I find her rules and regulations unsustainable and uncomfortable.
How do I get her to calm down and stop being so obsessive and retentive? I have suggested that she needs to think about finding a new job because she hates her current employer, but she won’t accept that anything is wrong.
If anything, she’s now talking about us taking out a loan and getting the whole place redone, top to bottom, because it looks grubby and dated. Help!
JANE SAYS: Moderation has to be the way forward. Having a clean and tidy home is desirable, but not if your property is beginning to feel – and smell – as impersonal as an operating theatre.
There’s no getting away from the fact that many of us are guilty of being sucked into the latest fads.
But just why does she always have to go so far?
It sounds as if your girlfriend has a huge number of unresolved issues which are whirling around in her mind.
If work is upsetting or even depressing her, then she has to own up to that because something has to give. She’s using her considerable energy to create the perfect home, but is going way over the top.
Keeping the house clean is her only way of maintaining control, but she’s throwing her time away.
Make it clear that this is not how you wish to live your life.
What about getting out together more and embracing the fresh air? Walks, swims, runs and challenging activates are all good for the body and mind.
Tell her you’ll help her to find an interesting new role. Ask her to consider her mental health and, possibly, seek help from her GP.