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I DON’T know where I stand with my former boyfriend.

We’re both in our late thirties, but dated for five years between the ages of 17 and 22.

He was the love of my life and I was devastated when he dumped me for a new job in America.

Now he’s back in the UK and married with children.

We meet up for sex every once in a while, but everything is conducted on his terms.

I don’t know where he lives or works and don’t even have a phone number for him.

I literally have to wait for him to turn up outside my office or seek me out in my local pub.

The time we spend together is intense and electric. He’s still the best lover I’ve ever known and I’d happily walk over hot coals for him. How do I finally nail him down and make him mine?

JANE SAYS: Sorry, but you have no real place in your ex boyfriend’s life.

He’s a user who’s only after a bit of fun.

You and he share a history, but he’s not a keeper and he doesn’t have your best interests at heart.

The very fact he’s married with children puts him strictly out of bounds.

And the fact that you have no way of getting in touch with him – he doesn’t even trust you with his phone number – speaks volumes.

Stop waiting on his next visit and start living your life on your own terms.

If he dares to turn up at your work or pub again, give him his marching orders.

I’m afraid that if you don’t, he’ll continue to leech off you and stop you from meeting anyone proper of your own.

Face it – he’s just not a very nice person.