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MY boyfriend asked me to move into his flat, then said I must promise never to ask about his ex-lovers.

He’s 12 years older than me and he’s been about a bit.

I’ve got no problem talking about my four ex-boyfriends or my handful of one-night stands, so I don’t know what his problem is.

I agreed to all of this when I first moved in but now, after almost a year, his stupid secrecy is starting to annoy me.

Several women still phone him and he always expects me to answer his mobile, which is weird.

I tell him who’s calling but he refuses to tell me anything about them.

I’m starting to feel like a receptionist and I have no idea where I stand.

JANE SAYS: This is an odd set-up. You are living in his house, but you and your boyfriend are not equals in this relationship.

The fact that he expects you to answer his mobile when the call is obviously for him suggests this is all about control.

He wants to make you feel insecure and worry about who these other women are. Start by refusing to play games.

Any relationship that is going to thrive shouldn’t be based on fear. Ask him what’s going on – and insist he tells you the truth.

Tell him you love him, but if he doesn’t respect or trust you enough to open up it’s time for you to leave.

By keeping you in the dark he’s treating you with contempt, and that’s just not right.