He makes excuses for not having sex
NOW IT’S BEEN 18 MONTHS
I’VE never had sex with my boyfriend of 18 months.
He’s never even tried to touch me. When we first started dating we’d kiss with tongues, but these days all I get is a peck on the cheek.
When I ask him why he’s avoiding me he comes up with a selection of excuses – he’s stressed out from work, he’s waiting for the right moment, he doesn’t want to rush things.
Twice now I’ve organised romantic weekends, which have ended in disaster. During a trip to Brighton I bought sexy underwear, high heels and bright red lipstick. I popped a bottle of champagne, lit a scented candle and attempted to seduce him.
Massage
I licked his neck, stroked his thigh and offered him a massage. He couldn’t have looked more uncomfortable if he’d tried.
I stripped off in front of him and he didn’t even flinch. He made me feel like a desperate has-been. I broke down in tears and begged him to make love to me, but he brushed me off suggesting a nice cup of tea instead.
A subsequent trip to the Lake District was another waste of money with him drinking and sleeping the whole time.
Anytime I accuse him of being in love with his best mate he says that I’ve got a screw loose.
But I’ve seen how he around him – he laughs hangs onto his every word.
His mate is straight because I dated him for six months in 2016. If my guy is gay, then why can’t he be honest with me?
His brother lives with a man and the parents don’t care. Why is he wasting my time when he’s not what I need him to be?
The irony is that we get on brilliantly outside of the bedroom. acts and
JANE SAYS: I suspect you’re fighting a losing battle because you know, deep down, that he’s simply not into you. I’m sure he’s a lovely fella with whom you have enormous fun in general day-today life.
But if he’s not interested in sex with you – and makes you feel bad about yourself in intimate situations – then you both need to start facing up to the fact that this relationship is doomed.
It could be that you and he go on to be fantastic friends, but if you’ve not even enjoyed one moment of intimacy in 18 months, then something is clearly wrong.
He could be gay or he could be in love with someone else. Either way, it’s up to him whether he comes out to friends and family or not.
It doesn’t matter a jot if his brother is with a man and his parents are cool about it.
You have to remember your guy is an individual with feelings of his own.
Whatever happens, you can’t continue to put yourself through the torture of rejection. Tell him today that you have to safeguard your own confidence.
Wish him well, but be discreet regarding your breakup around friends and family.