BUT HE’S STILL A WASTER
MY boyfriend’s whole life is a horror story.
He is hot-headed, stubborn and refuses to take advice.
But then he goes into a deep sulk when things goes wrong.
When I first met him he had a good job and a decent flat share. I thought: “Fantastic! This one’s a keeper”.
Three months later, he stormed out of his office on a whim and told his boss to stick his salary.
His flatmate had the cheek to ask where his rent would be coming from – and he crashed out of there too.
Erratic
For the next four months he sofa surfed until his parents gave him a hefty loan.
I told him to write a thank you note but he refused – and now he’s estranged from them too.
He was working for my uncle but they rowed over my guy’s very erratic timekeeping so now he’s just busking and trying his hand at stand-up comedy.
The one person who believes in him is his granny.
She gives him cash and pays his bills but he speaks to her like dirt and regularly lets her down.
He promises to visit for Sunday lunch and then calls up at the very last minute with a pathetic still excuse. I feel so sorry for woman, but he won’t be told.
I’ve warned him that he can’t simply assume she’ll leave him her house when she dies, but he insists she will.
He frustrates and enrages me at every turn.
And he’s not an evil person – he’s like an overgrown puppy a lot of the time – but I just wish he’d occasionally listen to me.
I have his interests at heart but he can be his own worst enemy.
Friends ask why I stick with him, but I have to believe I can save and change him or the last two years will have been a waste of my time. the
JANE SAYS: You’re flogging a dead horse. This guy is definitely hopeless.
Get real. You have already wasted two years on this complete loser.
He is what he is – and you’re never going to change him because he’s perfectly happy bulldozing his way through life.
From burning all of his bridges all of the time to hacking off relatives who are only trying to help him, he is his own person.
Does he ever ask for help or advice? No. So leave him to get on with the next self-inflicted calamity while you start again.
For better or worse, he lives his life by a totally different set of rules to you.
Maybe this maverick will eventually hit the big time and become the next comedy sensation. But can you take that chance or afford to waste any more time hanging around?
And can you be sure he wouldn’t drop you like a stone at the first sniff of fame and serious money?
Leave him with a reminder that what goes around, comes around.