Money has turned dad into monster
HE’S SO VILE TO MY MUM
SINCE selling his company and pocketing a fortune, my father has become the worst man alive.
My mother is on her knees. He’s staying out all night, sleeping with other women and treating her like scum.
He genuinely thinks cash gives him the right to do or say anything he likes.
I’ve always got on well with him. As a child he took me to football and we share a love of James Bond and fast cars, but even I haven’t escaped his viciousness.
The other day I took my two young sons to visit my parents.
Cry
My mum was overjoyed but my dad was irritated because I’d turned up without phoning first. He looked at my youngest and said his long hair made him look like a girl.
Then he started aggressively quizzing my eight-year-old on times tables and made him cry.
In the end I blew my top and told him to leave the child alone and we stormed home.
I had to swear the kids to silence because if my wife ever finds out about this, then she’d rip my dad’s smug head off. The next day my mum rang me in pieces. She said my dad had started drinking whisky after we left and subjected her to an evening of insults and tears.
Then he went out at midnight and, she suspects, slept with a sex worker. I’ve since met him for a drink. I begged him to calm down, but he accused me of being jealous.
He said he knew “what I was after” and it was cash. I told him not to be ridiculous and ranted about how the normal rules of life no longer apply to him. What would you do with him?
JANE SAYS: You need to have a serious conversation with your mother about her mental and sexual health.
If your father is out of control, then she has to start protecting herself. Could she come and stay with you, or go to a friend’s for a while?
She needs peace, space and sanctuary. Discuss her options because nothing gives him the right to push her around.
I don’t care how much money he’s trousered – he isn’t a law unto himself.
I applaud your attempts to level with him during your one-on-one drink.
He behaved appallingly to your children. If his money has gone to his head, then keep away from him until he crashes back to Earth again.
Meanwhile, you could write him a letter or email suggesting he takes a good look in the mirror.
I’d also avoid keeping secrets from your wife, especially if they concern your children. It could be that your wife is the person who needs to go round to see him to read him the riot act.
Maybe it needs someone from outside his immediate circle to point out just what an ass he’s being?
MY girlfriend wants to buy a particular kind of sex toy.
She wants to use this on me for us to perk up our flagging sex life.
I’m all for keeping things fizzy in the bedroom, but fear she actually wishes to hurt and humiliate me. She’s shown me the model and harness she has in mind and it looks like a torture instrument.
She insists all her friends are into sexual role-play and we’re out of touch.
How do I tell her I’m not keen without coming across as a party pooper?
JANE SAYS: Keep talking to her away from the bedroom.
Discuss your reservations and see if you can agree a sex toy that satisfies both of you.
Discuss foreplay, lots of lubrication and a safe word (which means “stop”). It could be you and she enjoy this new experience.
How will you know unless you try?
But if you’re determined that her plan is not for you, then don’t be shy about saying “No”.
You’re entitled to veto anything you don’t fancy.
But do think about coming up with a few alternatives of your own.