Get Me Out Of Here!
BRACE yourself, folks – it’s time for us to make tough decisions about a bunch of slimy, poisonous, sharp-clawed monsters who will do anything to get your vote.
Nah, not that damn General Election but I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!
Diddy Men Ant and Dec are back this Sunday with yet another bunch of scary creatures guaranteed to make you want to run screaming from your living room. And some bemused witchetty grubs, rats and spiders too.
Possibly still the best reality TV show on the box I’m A Celeb might be as fake as Pep Guardiola hugging a referee but it’s a great antidote to these cold, dark winter nights. Not to mention the perfect excuse not to answer the door to canvassers who think Jo Swinson needs to be in Downing Street when really Sesame Street is more apt.
This time last year, of course, we had the cloud of blonde loveliness that is Holly Willoughby holding Dec’s hand while drunk driver Ant paid penance.
Holly took the ratings through the roof which, let’s be honest, must have rankled with Ant as much as he professed to be “thrilled” for her. Course you were, love. And have you noticed just how much hard work has been put into rehabilitating Ant recently? Ant & Dec’s DNA Journey, where they trace their ancestors and roots, is proper tear-jerking stuff. This two-part mini series is like Who Do You Think You Are? on steroids, designed to make you feel all warm and fluffy about two multi-millionaires.
Though while this was meant to be warts and all, Ant’s descent into drink and prescription drug hell, not to mention a very messy divorce, was glossed over as “taking a career break.” Hmm, pass the whitewash.
But whatever their shortcomings (ahem) their banter does make I’m A Celeb come to life. The Bushtucker Trials may be a little repetitive and tired by now but the links keep it fresh.
This year’s “celebrities” are also an interesting mix. Footballer turned pundit Ian Wright is hoping to follow in last year’s King of the Jungle Harry Redknapp’s footsteps. It’ll be interesting to see how he tackles transgender icon Caitlyn Jenner.
Former Girls Aloud star Nadine Coyle – the one who could actually sing – is in there to reveal all the interesting stuff about Cheryl Cole/Tweedy/Wotsit. That’s two seconds of air time filled then.
There are also two soap stars, two DJs and someone from a boyband called Shit-zu. Or possibly Rak-su. But the first one sounds more likely.
Perhaps the real star of I’m A Celeb though is camp medic Bob.
In just one series he treated 30 insect bites, 14 cases of tonsillitis, 11 cases of flu, 30 rashes, relocated 22 pythons and handled two pregnancies.
He also had to remove 100 ticks from the celebs.
And God were those ticks grateful.