Family invasion is festive nightmare
THEY’RE AFTER FREEBIE
HOW do I get out of family Christmas when can’t stand my relatives?
In the summer my entitled sister said she would love to spend the festive season with my girlfriend, our dog and myself in the chocolate box cottage we moved into last February.
My sister and I were attending our uncle’s funeral at the time. I was distracted and I think I said: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.”
But that seems to have translated into my sister, her husband, their three kids and his mother and partner descending on us for five days between Christmas Eve and the new year.
Broke
a I
I don’t need this. I don’t even like her husband and certainly don’t want his stuck-up mother here. I can’t think of anything worse than paying for everyone else’s fun.
But my sister is insisting that a promise is a promise. She is seriously broke and a free ride in my home is the best Christmas her children can hope for.
How does that work? How is it my job to play Santa Claus for my nephews?
My girlfriend has hit the roof. She says I have to tell my sister it’s not on so her family can visit instead. But I’m no keener on them. Her mother loathes me, while her partner is another freeloading pain in the backside.
I spent three days with him in June at my girlfriend’s sister’s wedding. He didn’t buy a single drink and borrowed £100 from me, which I’ve never had back.
How come folk think they’re entitled to crash my pad at Christmas? Why can’t I be allowed to put my feet up and have the break that I deserve?
JANE SAYS: Clearly your sister believes herself very clever for wrapping up Christmas good and early.
But you cannot allow her to descend on you if you’re not interested in hosting a full, family bash.
It’s unfortunate that finds herself broke, but days is too much.
It would be a nice gesture if you could give your nephews one fun day of warmth and treats. Could you compromise by stretching to that?
The same goes for your girlfriend and her family. There’s nothing wrong with her mother and partner visiting for one day, but make it clear you won’t be taken advantage of again because you and her stepfather already she five have form. The fact is that Christmas is a tricky time as far as family and expectations go.
You obviously have a lovely new home that they’re all keen to snuggle into, but those mince pies and presents don’t buy themselves.
Tell your respective families how it’s going to be. But it would be a mistake to tell anyone what you think of them because that might cause a rift.
Just be ready with your own plans and excuses next year so that this situation doesn’t arise again.
MY girlfriend and I are hugely sexually attracted to each other and spend a lot of time in bed.
But she’s not interested in taking things to the next level. She’s not prepared to give up other guys and is still using dating apps.
I’ve asked if she will move in with me, spend Christmas with my folks and allow me to tell pals we’re a couple, but she refuses.
She insists she just wants things to stay as they are. But we’ve been together for over two years.
JANE SAYS: Every relationship is different. Some couples never move in together and enjoy open agreements and spells apart.
But if you are now frustrated by her reluctance to commit, then is she right for you?
It’s great that you have a good sex life, but if she’s sleeping with other people, does that put your sexual and mental health at risk?
You have to think about what you want within a time frame.
If you wish to settle down and have your own home and children within five years but she’s not interested, then do you have to look for someone else?