Christmas agony over my 2 lovers
SECRET AFFAIR IS OVER
MY lovers of both sexes expect me to spend Christmas with them.
I’m so mixed up I feel ill. I thought I’d got Christmas sorted.
My boyfriend told me he was going to visit his best pal in Australia for the whole of December.
But then he was made redundant from his job as a travelling salesman with immediate effect.
I tried to encourage him to still fly. I pointed out that the flights were booked and paid for and said the break would do him good, but he went into a complete tailspin.
Sick
He said he had to find another job for the New Year and messaged his Aussie mate to say he couldn’t join him after all.
I was nearly sick when he said he would be spending the whole of Christmas with me after all.
My big problem is that I have a secret female lover that he knows nothing about. She and I have been hanging out since last June and she’s very keen on me.
She’s planning a massive festive feast and expects me to stay at her flat from Christmas Eve until New Year’s Day.
She’s ordered food and presents and has visions of us making love under her tree on Christmas morning, which sounds absolutely lovely in theory. But how can I possibly be in two places at the same time?
I know I shouldn’t cheat on my live-in boyfriend, but I find it so hard to leave her behind.
He knows nothing about her and she assumes I’m single.
My best friend knows the whole story and says I have to tell both of them the truth. But I’m so scared of hurting their feelings when they’re both such lovely people and lovers.
JANE SAYS: Stop being such a coward.
Don’t bleat that you feel guilty about hurting the feelings of the two people you’re sleeping with while you continue to bury your head in the sand.
You’re not being truthful or honest with anyone.
The fact is that you can’t have the best of both worlds because you’re not in an open relationship. Who is it you actually love?
Why did you ever start cheating on your boyfriend in the first place? And, if you love your girlfriend so much, why haven’t you already ditched him?
Ultimately, you have to decide who – if anyone – you wish to be with full-time. If neither of them give you everything you’re looking for, then maybe you need to make a complete split and embark on a single life while you get your act together.
What you really can’t do is use either of them for a great Christmas while lying through your teeth.
Start with your boyfriend. Tell him everything. Then speak to your girlfriend and apologise for leading her on.
We all make mistakes, but nothing gives you the right to be selfish and cruel. The lying has to end here.
MY partner is sleeping with a much older woman.
I know this woman from around our village. She’s the polar opposite of me and I can’t work out what he sees in her.
I pride myself on being fit and organised, while she is loud and outrageous.
She often takes the microphone in our local pub and belts out rock classics that almost make my ears bleed.
How he can have sex with her is beyond me, yet friends warn that she often sneaks into my cottage if I’m away.
JANE SAYS: You have to confront your partner.
Explain that you’ve heard rumours. Are they true?
If he is playing games then you both have a lot of serious talking to do.
He has to explain what this all means. Is she a main priority in his life now?
Did he ever stop to think about your feelings and your reputation?
Personally, I don’t think you can stay with this man if he is cheating, because a line has been crossed and you have your sexual health, self-esteem and future to consider.