JOKE OF THE DAY

why can’t football people speak a sentence without saying obviously? If it’s that obvious we’ll already know. mr coffee

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Inside the buses years ago there was a notice which said coughs and sneezes spread diseases use your handkerchief. SHIRLEY POPS

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Met Tony Blackburn a few times seems nice bloke but 2 slate Frinton as boring is not on. He lives in a tiny village type place in Hertfordshire. Hardly brimming with activity. He shud apologise when he comes 2 Essex. Frinton is a pretty coastal town. GINNY P

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Re OAP: 1931 King George V silver sixpence is worth about £5-£20, Victorian antique one about £100. Good luck. POPEYE

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Can we please please stop the bulls**t of saving pubs, well over a decade late. Pubs gone, communities gone, replaced by offices. Phil, Leeds

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how did mary and joseph know jesus’ weight when he was born? Because they had a “weigh in a manger”.

tony, worksop

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To Rupert Fast, I agree, but if every second person under the age of 30 I walk past in the street is smoking drugs, how are they going to enforce people smoking normal cigarettes outside hospitals? CHARLTON GARRY

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Head transplants: given time you’ll be able to wind your own neck in without being told to do it.

ONME EDSON

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Does anybody else remember how wonderful curry flavour crisps were before some d***head decided we didn’t like them? THE CRISP MUNCHER

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Hope they ban that bloody awful Bing Crosby White Christmas song for next year. Some people can’t afford to turn on their heating an he’s hoping it snows.

Willo

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That’s the goodwill to all men season over. now maniacs can get back to what they do best, complain and disagree! AL

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Do these young women who wear next to nothing on festive nights out not realise the dangers they risk to there lives. THE PLEB

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To the Salford rocket. I think Guinness are just trying to sell more of their product! CHARLTON GARRY

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When can I take this tree down?

PUBLUNCH See Joke Of The Day! Ed

It’s 363 days Christmas until believe and I can’t people already trees have there up. he.

bojo says he’s gonna pump billions into NHS why not fine people £25 who miss appointments.

anon

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I’m sorry that 3 member of a family drowned. But where was the life guards? Littlelegs

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mourinho sez 2 games in 48 hrs a crime, so is 250 grand a week.

pete the blade

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Why the hell are we charged to watch BBC. Come on Johnson make them go commercial and rid us of the licence. JASPER

My dog Tyler having a laugh. Mark Tweedie, Chorley