Girl sleeps around just to punish me
CANNOT FORGIVE MY LIES
I HATE the way my girlfriend approaches anyone she fancies for casual sex.
She’s someone without embarrassment or limits. If she spies an individual she wants, then she’s in like a shot.
Male or female – it’s all the same to her. When we go out she scans any venue for fresh meat.
She leaves me standing while she dirty-dances with teenage lads or romances middle-aged divorcees. During a stay in the Caribbean, she managed to cop off with a dozen different people.
The two other couples we hooked up with around the pool were shocked. They couldn’t believe how she worked the leisure area and managed to seduce everyone from the Pilates teacher to the pool boy.
Pool
I had to pretend that I was cool with her cavorting about, but I’ve never felt more humiliated.
She has developed a determined “I’ll do what I like” attitude regarding her sexual behaviour and our relationship.
I’m constantly being told I have no right to comment and that if I don’t like how she acts, then I can shut up. In short, she still hasn’t forgiven me for cheating on her. She discovered in
September 2018 that my longterm mistress was pregnant.
As it happened, she didn’t have a baby after all – it was a false alarm – but I’m still being made to pay.
Yes, I admit I did a bad thing. I was with my mistress for two years and told a lot of lies.
I accept my guilt and have said sorry, but it’s not enough. I have offered to leave her, but she won’t let me go. She says staying with her is my punishment and I’m not getting away that easily.
JANE SAYS: Your angry girlfriend can’t insist on remaining in a relationship with you to punish you for your sins. What about love, respect and commitment?
She’s clearly still hurting, but surely life is too short for this level of vindictiveness and self-destruction?
OK, she’s disappointed in you. Your long-term affair left her feeling stupid. The fact that your mistress claimed to be pregnant didn’t help either.
But a line has to be drawn at some stage or you’ll continue to rip each other apart.
Insist on a heart-to-heart. Make it clear you cannot go on like this. Your holiday in the Caribbean should have been joyful. Instead you were humiliated while she just looked ridiculous.
Tell her you won’t be held captive. Admit again that you behaved badly, but if she cannot forgive you or change her attitude then you will have to walk away before you explode.
This is a sad state of affairs. Both of you have made mistakes and you’re both distressed and aching.
But you’re not children, and you make yourselves look tragic every time you step out in public together.
I HAVE intimate relations with men for cash and I’m not ashamed at all.
I choose to work four days a week and I am well rewarded.
It also helps that I love sex almost as much as I love money.
But now an old friend has decided she wants to “save” me.
She’s come back into my life after a few years abroad and is horrified I no longer work in an office.
If she’s not nagging me and warning me of the dangers I face, then she’s sending me job applications.
How do I get her off my back?
JANE SAYS: Tell your pal she’s in danger of crossing a line.
The fact is that you’re happy with your lot and don’t need to be rescued.
Ask her to respect your choices and to back off.
That said, I worry about your occupation too. I worry about your sexual, mental and physical health.
Sex work is not a game and if you have issues with self-loathing or historical unhappiness – ie someone was unkind to you in the past – then speak to your GP.
You are free to do what you want, but do consider possible consequences.