Seedy party plea of office playboy
I REFUSE TO JOIN CRONIES
MY colleague is a very strong-willed, intimidating type of person.
He’s a big bloke with a huge personality to match.
But as well as working here he has a number of fruity sidelines on the go. He sells smutty films and pictures of his wife and her friends and organises sex parties in his house. In fact, he’s a small town playboy.
What annoys me is that he is always trying to part me from my money. He desperately wants me to attend his shindigs.
Erotic
He says the admission price simply covers the cost of the rude food and drink and cleaning out the hot tub afterwards.
But at £50 a pop I’m sure that there’s something in there for him too.
I’m no prude, and I certainly don’t tell other people how to live their lives, but I’m not interested in his erotic enterprise.
Unfortunately, he’s not someone who takes the word “No” lightly. If anything he now views me as a challenge.
He knows I have a girlfriend, who I am committed to, and is determined to convert us to his way of swinging.
The reality is that my girlfriend could eat him for breakfast. I may seem quiet and unassuming at work, but my girl and I are no slouches when it comes to kinky sex and could probably make his eyes pop out.
We simply don’t need him, or his cronies, in our lives – or anywhere else for that matter…
But I’m worried that if I don’t join in and show willing, then I’ll be held back at work and accused of not being a team player.
I fear I won’t receive bonuses and promotions because so many of my other colleagues are on board. Even my boss is a regular attendee and he’s the most boring man in the world.
How do I handle this?
JANE SAYS: Stand your ground and remain true to yourself.
If you’re not interested in purchasing smutty pictures or attending grubby parties, then politely keep saying: “No thank you.”
Your forceful colleague may view part of your salary as his own, but he needs to understand you have your own rules and your own life.
Work is work and home is home – and there’s no reason why there should be anything of a crossover.
We all like to get on with our workmates. The odd drink or leaving bash is one thing, but I doubt if attendance at sex parties was included in your job contract.
You can’t allow yourself to be put under pressure.
Keep your head down and always have an excuse ready.
Hopefully this guy will eventually accept that you’re not a player.
If he doesn’t – and you don’t find you’re getting support from your superiors – maybe you’ll have to accept that this isn’t the firm for you.
Not everywhere is perfect and sometimes we have to admit defeat and move on.