Daily Star

JOKE OF THE DAY

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RUMBLE

Once + for all Boris, tell the EU to “F*** OFF”. we will not be warned, or threatened by them greedy clowns. EBG

EU do my head in. Say they hate us. Can’t wait to shot but happy to take our money and access to all our fishing grounds. Bin them off now. Jakey, Leeds

Bullyboy Barnier & Co had better give us a good trade deal or we will be walking away with a No Deal. SNAKEBITE

Looks like the tories might abandon their plans to tax the rich on their mansions. what a surprise. same old tories, but people voted them. they never learn. dd

love the story about the dog called dottie. hope she has a good life. no doubt there will be spiteful arses out there but stick with her. the affection and love she will give you will be great.

Dave in streatham

RE mick, bton: Best 007 was Pierce Brosnan. He took it back to the level connery set.

Airwolf

When see shows like The Masked Singer described as awesome, it makes me despair of the people who watch it. SUE P

Any1 else like the NatWest ad on TV? It’s better than some of the normal programmes. I think the girl’s expression­s are great.

Des, Wem, Shrops

if i had a far lower iq, i could appreciate your remarks. dirtbox

dirtbox: agree with you about tony worksop. his jokes are crap. ive never cracked a smile at any of them. OAP Bpool

hello Mad Minnie: I’m as batty as a fruitcake but, my goodness it’s helped me thru some bad times in my life! I hope ur surrounded by family and friends as I am who love u for who u r! Lily the pink

Happy 50th Wedding anniversar­y to my Mum and Dad.

PUBLUNCH

The stork brought my wife & I a special gift yesterday... a dead koi carp! Des in wolves

I booked a table for valentine’s night but my missus was not pleased. how did i know she didn’t have a cue? tony worksop

my wheelie bin has been booked twice over the weekend for speeding. SIDDY NOTTINGHAM

the VAR is taking to a rules of football level. ridiculous signs at the There are pitch local football penalties warning of for dog fouling.

Half the country’s under water and Boris Is About 2 Blow £100bn on HS2. Use The Money 2 Shore Up The Country’s Flood Defences instead. Priorities PM. Steve

Lots of poor people in Wales + elsewhere in the UK are up to their necks in water. And the Government want to spend £100+billion pounds on a daft bloody train that the majority of people dont want. WAKE UP BORIS. anon2

Flood victims, dont you dare moan if you voted for the liar Boris Johnson because us Labour supporters warned you about the cold uncaring Tories. jeremy Corbyn would have helped you all out by now. Wise Ged

My baby Willow wants to play. Nick Woods, Sheffield

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