Daily Star

Kids bunking off school to see Greta is just not on

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Any chance of a pic of sexy Chloe Meadows off Towie? What a fabulous figure she has. Cosmo, Bury

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Take kids out of school in term time and get a fine. Let them go to hear Greta Thunberg and that’s fine? andyyork

I trust all the parents that pulled their kids out of school to go and listen to that Greta whats-herface in Bristol will be duly fined accordingl­y. Floyd

Everyone at the climate change gathering who drove to see greta complain about climate change – can any one else say hypocrite? Anon

Greta thunberg has more guts than johnson and trump – she’s trying to save the planet while johnson and trump are trying to destroy it. kerry

The government­s advice to catch yr germs in a tissue and bin it and wash your hands to stop the spread of coronaviru­s is good advice. But judging by todays odays trip to the supermarke­t peo- ple are not taking this s advice and putting it in n to practice. i saw people e of all ages coughing and sneezing all over without a tissue in sight. Rob, suffolk

If councils stopped granting building on flood plains a lot of houses would be OK now. w.

Stockton jeff

With all this flooding ooding going on I think nk it’s time we copied our Amazonian brothers and built our houses on stilts and bought canoes instead of cars.

KenfromSke­m

Its amazing when patel gets accused of bullying right on cue johnsons partner expecting a baby takes the limelight away from the bullying story its what tories are good at – misdirecti­on. bt

Now they say people under 25 should’nt be in prison – give them community service with a minimum of one hundred hours get them to fix pot holes. Kerry

Sorry if this is too late but may i wish a happy birthday to everyone born on the 29th february no matter which leap year? ANON ESSEX. You just did! – Ed

I’ve so far waited over half an hour to get through to British gas, if they hired more people to answer the phone and instead of putting you on hold wouldn’t cost of so much? Sick of all these companies not answering the phone straight away. Pete, west midlands

Canadians not stupid won’t pay up for security of whinger harry and family. by all accounts this pair are expected to make millions so surely them plus the queen don’t expect us commoners here to foot the bill. we’ve plenty of homeless on our streets i in more need of our cha charity. irish

my dad big big dave osborne aske asked me 2 text in tha that in his opinion he thinks the late great g muhammad ali a would beat all the th current crop of o boxers. he should sh know cos when wh he was boxing h he was known as stone wall left. can u print this and make our day? thank u u. big big dave osborne, big dave, prince the dog, glenda and family, enfield

Why do u blokes keep ur hoods up in cafes? Is there a hole in the roof? U look ridiculous. Melanie

Welsh mininum alcohol pricing? Thanks to health “NAZIS” we’ll all have a drink problem. We can’t afford one! Steve, Rhyl

I think Gemma Collins has to give up heading footballs.

Telboys Tackle

Dirt Box, please stop complainin­g about Tony at Worksop because he struggling at the moment. He has had two weeks of work with a broken flask. Bricky Dave

Re bilko, joe pasquale is as funny f*** live! Did you even see him as frank spencer? It only started on the 26th of february! Mr Tea

Re: anon Essex asking what year would it be if Christ hadn’t been born. God knows – I don’t!

Scuba, Teesside

I detest waking up hungover with no eyebrows and a penis drawn on my head with lipstick. Especially when I’ve been drinking on my own. Leo, Leeds

Will.I.Amknott, Ayr

Biscuit posing for her favourite daily newspaper. Derrick Addison

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