Family’s using me like cash machine
THEY’RE ALL SO GREEDY
THIS lockdown me a fortune.
Not only am I paying my own bills, but I’ve had requests to buy food, pay off credit card debts and top up earnings too.
The other week my stepson asked me to buy him a new TV. I refused and he was miffed.
In fact, he hasn’t spoken to me since. But I know his sulk won’t last long because he’ll want something else soon enough.
As well as my own children (20 and 22), I’m still very involved with my ex-partner’s pair who are 25 and 27.
They are both in relationships with kids and can’t stand the fact that I have a bit of money under my belt after an inheritance and a lottery win. is costing
Lottery
I’m by no means rich, but I’m comfortable and that rankles with certain people around me.
My ex-partner now lives in New Zealand. Her new partner refuses to have anything to do with her kids, so it’s left to me to dig deep.
My own daughter (22) tells me I’m too soft. She says I need to start standing up for myself, but then she hits me for £200 and it starts all over again.
I’m not an ungenerous man, but know I’m being played. What gets me is that I’m rarely thanked for my gifts. The only calls I receive invariably end with the words: “Oh, and by the way Dad could you just…” and none of them ever remembers my birthday or the anniversary of my first wife’s death in 2010.
I’d like to think I’ve helped to raise four, decent young adults, but then I look around me and see nothing but a bunch of scheming, grasping gannets. Where did I go wrong?
JANE SAYS: Your 22-year-old daughter is right – you have to start saying “no” or you won’t have a penny left. This is not about you being mean. It’s about you being sensible.
You don’t know what lies in store. You’re fortunate to have a little nest egg in your account, but it won’t last for ever if you keep falling for every sob story in town.
Of course you want to help a relative who is in genuine need, who can’t afford food or basic provisions, but a new TV is hardly a necessity.
It’s all got out of hand and they view you as a soft touch.
I can’t believe the individual who thoughtfully left you money in their will intended for you to give it all away.
Presumably he or she wanted you to have a more comfortable lifestyle – otherwise, your kids and stepkids would have received their own bequests too. Do you understand what I’m saying?
That money is for your security and your future.
Get tough and don’t allow anyone to take advantage of you again. Give yourself some space.
Allow them to come to you in future and don’t feel embarrassed about saying “I’ll pass” if you definitely feel as though you’re being treated like the Bank of Gullible Dad.