It’s nip and tuck or he’ll dump me
BIGGER BOOBS A MUST
MY partner says unless I drastically change the way I look he will leave me.
He says I should lose at least 3st in weight.
He thinks I should have breast enlargements, Botox and new teeth. He hates the fact that my hair is back to its original brown.
He blasts that I was blonde when we met and that he “didn’t sign up to mousey”.
Frump
Now that lockdown is virtually over there is no excuse for me to carry on looking like a frump. He says there is major work to be done and I need to start booking appointments.
When I ask how these “improvements” will be paid for, he says I’ll have to find a way.
He says that he doesn’t ask me to fund his gym membership or the maintenance on the car so I can “do my bit”.
The problem is that three of his closest friends have new, much younger partners. All three divorced their first wives between 2018 and early 2020 and are now running round with glamorous replacements.
I’m part of the old guard and he’s even banned me from speaking to any of the ex-wives, who he considers bitter and twisted and a bad influence.
When I argue that they’re my true friends he says I need to move on.
I feel I’m not allowed to be myself. The other night he also said that he wants to start being a lot more edgy and experimental in bed. Once I’m fixed – and gorgeous – then I need to be prepared for threesomes.
How have I suddenly myself out of my depth? found
JANE SAYS: Your partner disrespects you every time he opens his mouth.
From insisting on expensive, invasive – and potentially dangerous – surgery to telling you who you can and can’t mix with, the man is getting carried away with himself.
The fact is that we’re all bruised and shattered after many months of fear.
Lockdown has been extremely tough and the last thing you need is him telling you that you’re no good.
Front him up and tell him there’s only one person who decides what happens to your body – and that’s you.
How dare he “insist” on weight loss and new teeth and a change of hair colour?
You’re not his puppet or his property. The fact his best friends all have new partners, has nothing to do with you.
You’re an individual and refuse to be compared with anyone. Can’t he see what a decent, honest person you are?
If he doesn’t appreciate you, maybe you have to be the person to call time.
What you can’t have is him putting you down. You have to feel free to be yourself and enjoy life on your terms.
You believe in give and take, but he’s demanding more take than give – and that’s not healthy or fair.