Crazy rock chick’s lust in a cupboard
MY NEW LOVER’S SO WILD
I’M struggling to process my new girlfriend’s colourful past.
When we first got together she casually mentioned a couple of ex-lovers who were still special to her. We talked about a place we’d both worked (at different times) and a boss we’d both loathed.
But since then there have been outrageous revelations almost every week. Yes, she did work at my old firm, but was fired for gross misconduct.
She got drunk and had sex with the boss’s wife in the stationery cupboard at a seminar.
The wife eventually divorced the boss and then she started stalking my girlfriend.
Hippy
I worked for that company for five years and the worst thing I ever did was steal a few Post-it Notes and a ballpoint pen.
I love my girlfriend to bits – and she says she feels the same way about me – but I can’t help feeling second rate when she’s lived a dozen lives to my one, boring one.
Her latest revelation is that she once lived on a hippy commune and didn’t wash her hair for three years. On top of that she’s had sex with loads of famous women.
She’s been a roadie on rock tours and once sang backing vocals on a much-loved British hit single. Before her, I’d only been out with two other women and been abroad precisely twice – both times to Spain and both times with my crazy parents!
I’m terrified she’s going to become bored with me and I can never be enough for someone like her. Our love life is fantastic.
We’re completely in tune and on the same page, both sexually and emotionally.
But how can little old me compete with her A-list ex-lovers, her experiences and life skills?
JANE SAYS: Don’t put yourself down. Never forget that you are a vibrant and important individual.
You have a strong work ethic and healthy outlook on life. You love your parents and you’re your own person. Never apologise for that.
It may seem as though your girlfriend has more feathers in her cap, but you’re not in competition.
Your relationship starts here and you’re on a new journey together.
As long as you both love, respect and are kind to each other, that’s all that matters.
Vow to take things slowly and see how they pan out.
That said, it does seem as if your girlfriend has packed a huge number of different experiences into her short life.
Don’t allow her to dazzle or even intimidate you. If there’s the tiniest chance that she’s prone to exaggeration, make it clear that there’s no need to impress you any further.
She’s done it! You’re an item and the fun starts here.
But if it turns out that she is something of a fantasist, be ready to cut through the rubbish to protect yourself.
You want to give her a chance, but not to the detriment of your own wellbeing.