Heartbroken after my son left for uni NOW I’M AT HOME ON OWN
EMPTY nest syndrome tearing me apart.
I’ve just waved my son off to university and I’m in pieces.
The house is too quiet and too tidy – it’s unnatural. The dog is moping around and so am I.
I can’t have the radio on in case I hear the songs he likes and I keep going into his bedroom to see the stuff he’s left behind.
I know men like me are supposed to display a stiff upper lip, but we’ve always been more like buddies than father and son.
Settled
is
We love fishing and football and it’s been the same since his mum died in 2012.
My daughter went to uni and never really came home again.
She met a boy during Fresher’s Week and they now have a flat together at the other end of the country. She’s settled and I’m happy for her, but I have to accept that she’ll never live here in the future.
What if my boy does the same? What if he meets the love of his life and leaves his poor old dad behind? I couldn’t stand that.
It’s no exaggeration to say that my heart is breaking. I just about held it together when we unloaded the car with all of his stuff in it.
I helped him settle into his new room but wasn’t allowed to
hang around because of Covid. Now I’ve had a couple of texts telling me he’s fine, but life will never be the same again and I don’t know how I’ll cope.
His best mate’s parents have already sold their family home and are moving to the seaside to start a new life.
I know I should probably do something life- changing too, but can’t motivate myself to even cook a proper meal.
JANE SAYS: It’s tough when we have to set our children free, but that’s the nature of being a parent.
We raise our youngsters to
become independent, freethinking adults and then we cut the apron strings.
It’s hard and doesn’t seem fair, but it has to be done because it’s selfish of us, as parents, to hold them back.
It sounds as if you’ve been a terrific father thus far.
You’ve nurtured your son and daughter and given them the very best start despite some tough times.
Now you deserve to be happy too. Don’t do anything rash like selling your house and moving to a new location without really thinking things through, but do start putting
plans in place. Obviously, travel is difficult at the moment. But where would you eventually like to visit and experience? Does the house need a revamp?
Would you consider finding a new partner? If the reality is that you’ve never really got over the death of your late wife, then do you need to speak to a grief counsellor?
Things may seem bleak, but your son will come home for holidays and you’ll soon come back down to earth once he asks you for a cash top- up because he’s already spent his student loan!