Sex life is ruined by bid for a baby LOVER’S MAKING EXCUSES
MY girlfriend doesn’t make enough of an effort to have sex with me.
If I attempt to touch her she pushes me away. She says she’s not in the mood, is “too full” or has even just applied self- tan.
There’s always an excuse and I’m getting sick of being rejected.
Back in April we both agreed we wanted to start a family.
As we were in lockdown and working from home, I suggested a healthy living plan.
Naked
It would mean no booze and fast food and plenty of exercise – and she agreed with me. We even redecorated our bedroom to make it more cosy and romantic.
At first we had a lot of early nights and great sex. Making love without having to worry about contraception was refreshing.
We tried every position and, looking back, those were some of the best days of my life.
But since August she’s grown cold. Suddenly she’s citing not having shaved her legs as a reason not to get naked with me.
When I tell her I don’t care about stuff like that, she says she still has her standards.
When I suggest early nights she seems to deliberately take ages coming to bed. More than once I’ve even caught her look
ing at her phone during foreplay. Another trick of hers is to start complaining about her boss and work, which she knows sends me straight to sleep.
I’ve put up an ovulation chart in the bedroom. This highlights our most fertile times. But it seems to have spelt the end for our sex life.
How can we be serious about becoming parents if we don’t tackle this scientifically?
JANE SAYS: Using words like “scientifically” in the bedroom has to be the biggest turn off of all time.
I suspect your girlfriend
feels under a huge amount of pressure to get pregnant.
She may not say as much, but having an official fertility chart staring her in the face must be intimidating.
You and she have to get back to basics and start enjoying each other’s company again. Talk away from the bedroom about how you’re feeling and ask her what she thinks you should do next.
I get the impression of two people circling each other without saying what’s wrong.
You drum your fingers on the duvet while she deliberately lingers over the washing
up from dinner. Of course, it would be wonderful if you and she could have a baby, but you’ve taken a wrong turn. It could be she actually gets pregnant once she feels more relaxed and the expectation dies down.
I don’t think it’s fair of you to accuse her of not making an effort when there are so many unresolved issues.
Tackle this problem calm, reasonable equals.
Vow to be less zealous and more passionate. Cherish her and don’t lose sight of who you are and why you got together in the first place. as