Boring fella’s only good for one thing BRILL IN BED BUT SO DULL
SEX with my boyfriend is great, but he doesn’t have much else to offer.
He has no opinions or a sense of humour. Nights out in restaurants and bars are so dull.
He doesn’t appear to have any ambitions and sometimes I feel embarrassed when we are seen out in public. I suspect friends and family look at us and wonder: “Why is she with him?”
Once he’s between the sheets he comes to life and I can’t complain about his sexual performance, even if his post- coital personality sends me to sleep.
The other night we went for a meal and I conducted an experiment. I asked him about his day then gave him the floor.
Lonely
Usually I babble away in a desperate attempt to fill the silence but this time I left it up to him to entertain me and do you know what? He had absolutely nothing to say about anything.
I know we’re poorly matched but I worry that if I dump him now, then I’ll end up lonely. Usually I’d be looking forward to wild Christmas parties and hookups right now, but this isn’t a good time to find a new lover.
He moved in here last March when no- one really knew what was going on. We were working
on the same project for a local authority and I knew he was between flats after being dumped by his ex.
I grabbed him and said: “You’re coming with me”, and he’s been here ever since, but I’m the first to admit that we’re just not suited to each other.
If it wasn’t for the sex, I reckon I’d be going crazy right now. How can I make him a better allrounder of boyfriend?
JANE SAYS: From what I can make out, you invited your boyfriend to move in without getting to know him first.
Now he’s in your home and
you’re finding him lacking in certain departments.
The sex is great, but that isn’t making up for the fact that you and he are very different personalities and have nothing in common.
Have you actually asked him if he’s happy? What does he think about the way this relationship is going?
I’m sure that he was very grateful when you offered him a roof over his head, but does he even like, love or understand you? It’s very likely that you annoy him just as much as he frustrates you.
He might even say that he
feels used by you in bed and in general.
It sounds to me as if he’s useful when you need company in a restaurant or bar but you don’t have much regard for him as an individual. Does he want to be made “better”? Isn’t that a bit patronising and insulting?
I think you need to accept that you’re not suited and bail out. You need to find someone who is more your type and if that takes some time, then so be it.
I worry that if you go on for much longer you’ll start to disrespect and resent him.