Family’s obsessed with getting cash THEY’RE PUSHING ME OUT
I MENTIONED selling my house and distributing my money and now I’m under huge pressure from the family to do it right now.
I feel overwhelmed and hounded.
Back in October my daughter invited me over for a meal.
There were six of us around the table and my son asked what my long- term plans are.
I’d had a couple of wines and admitted that I’m finding the house a little too much for me to manage now that I’m a widower.
My late wife was a hoarder and it’s taken a lot of work to clear and redecorate throughout since her death in 2018.
My daughter suggested downsizing and buying a bungalow and I agreed that would be a very good idea – one day.
But then my son and his wife really started on me.
Why wait? Why not sell up, downsize and split my money?
That way everyone could benefit and I would no longer be burdened with a large property and various savings accounts.
I conceded that they had a good point and that I did crave a simpler, more relaxed life.
But I certainly did not anything in stone.
However, now I’m being rung constantly and asked about my set
movements. More than once I’ve heard: “You said” and, “You promised” – but I never promised anything.
The other night my son rang me and was very abrupt.
I think he’d been drinking heavily and he virtually told me that if I didn’t “get a move on” then I’d suffer in the long run.
Are they planning to cut me out of their lives?
Why am I being held to this timescale when all I ever did was muse about changing my lifestyle somewhere down the line?
JANE SAYS: The problem is that the individuals within
your family are circling. They’ve had a sniff of your money and now want it all.
During that fateful family meal you unwittingly teased them with the promise of a future pay out.
And now they can’t function for thinking about the riches that might be in store.
But you absolutely cannot allow them to dictate a timeline or agenda.
The fact is that your home is your property. The same goes for any money sitting in a bank or building society.
It may drive them crazy imagining the equity tied up in
your bricks and mortar that’s your business.
You’re under no obligation to do anything you’re not comfortable with.
I suggest you pull yourself up to your full height and ring your adult children in turn.
Make it very clear that you won’t be making any decisions any time soon.
Be firm and leave them in no doubt that you know your own mind and resent being played.
Frankly, if they continue to upset you, then they’ll end up the losers. Do they realise that? but