Stormy pasts fuel doubts over trust

WE LIKE TO PLAY AROUND

MY new boyfriend and I are both very passionate and jealous people.

How do we make our relationship work when we both have trust issues? We both agree that we adore each other. We have a lot of fun and enjoy a laugh.

Our sex life is phenomenal. We’re both into fitness and have a huge amount of stamina and energy. Our love- making sessions often go on for hours and let’s just say nothing is taboo.

From bondage to mild S& M we are very evenly matched.

But there’s no escaping that he was very badly hurt by his ex who conducted a secret nine- month affair with his boss. He actually caught them in bed together.

Passport

He retaliated by going out and sleeping with 20 individuals on a wild holiday with pals.

I experienced something similar in 2018 when the guy I was due to marry announced, two days before our big day, that he had a secret boyfriend. Would it be OK if he carried on sleeping with him after the wedding?

Perhaps we could enjoy a few threesomes too?

I did nothing more than throw my passport in a suitcase and run away to Spain for six months.

Over there I played the field,

CAN THIS LAST? They have had a fantastic time together but know each other’s history

while vowing never to rely on anyone ever again. Today, we find ourselves at a crossroads.

We know that we are a good fit but we are frightened of history repeating itself.

What if he runs off and sleeps with scores of strangers again or I discover I’ve been duped?

Friends tell us we have to give this relationship a chance because we’re made for each other. But I don’t think anyone would blame us for feeling vulnerable and exposed.

JANE SAYS: It is clear that you and your man have both been badly burned. Former

lovers let you down and left you feeling vulnerable and exposed. But don’t you deserve a little happiness now?

No- one has a crystal ball. None of us knows what the future has in store but at least you’re talking and being open and honest. There are no secrets between you.

All you can do now is take one day at a time. Celebrate all the good things you’ve got going on.

The fact that you’re able to laugh and have fun as well as connect on a physical level is wonderful.

You clearly have something

very special going for you so don’t over- think where you might find yourselves in 10 or 20 years time.

Obviously, if either of you start to feel that you’re steering off course then a reassuring chinwag will be required.

Think of your relationship as a work in progress. Should you factor in regular catchup chats to discuss how you’re doing and feeling?

You can’t allow matters to fester or explode. You know that you’re both sensitive people so look out for each other – but don’t allow pride to bring you down.