Festive knees- up will be nightmare MY WIFE WANTS BIG ‘ DO’
I WAS really looking forward to a quiet Christmas.
Now it looks as though the rules are going to be relaxed and I’m being accused of being the Grinch.
My wife is gushing about rich meals, loads of booze and piles of presents. She’s all for pushing the boat out. She says we deserve a big bash after all we’ve gone through since March. But I can’t think of anything worse.
Last year was a nightmare with people coming and going the whole time. We had 20 people for lunch and then my wife’s parents stayed until January 3. I thought I was going to go mad.
Fund
I waved them off through gritted teeth and turned round to my wife and hissed: “Never again.”
By rights we should be flying out to Tenerife on Christmas Eve. That was my plan, but everything went belly up when our daughter lost her job in April and we were forced to give her our holiday fund. I love our little girl ( 23) but am still angry she had no savings or Plan B of her own.
My wife is saying we should have the maximum people allowed over to our place and that it would be churlish not to capitalise on the numbers allowed when ours is the biggest house in
the family. But I’m sick of feeding others and painting on a fake smile when the festive season leaves me weary at the best of times. Why all this fuss?
What’s wrong with a quiet lunch and a box of chocs? Would it be so wrong to lock myself away with a bottle of brandy and a DVD of The Great Escape?
I’m not normally a boring bloke but I’m feeling the strain.
JANE SAYS: The rules may change but that doesn’t mean you and your wife have to throw your doors open.
If you find having other relatives in your home/ bubble,
stressful or even worrying then you’re entitled to stand your ground.
By the sounds of things, your in- laws more than outstayed their welcome last year. I get the impression your wife almost feels obliged to throw open your home.
Therefore, you have to reassure her that she’s not obliged to play Mrs Claus.
What about the expense, the health implications and the possible stress levels?
You and she are entitled to do your own thing and if others are disappointed, well, that’s just too bad. Level with
her and explain that you’re by no means Mr Scrooge, but just feel that a certain amount of thought still needs to be put into this plan.
Things might seem bleak this winter, but normal life will resume in the future.
Happier Christmases are sure to come along in future years. We have to believe that in order to keep moving forward with a positive attitude.
Work out a cool yule that satisfies you both and don’t feel guilty for saying “See you next year” to your extended ( freeloading?) family.