Is coldness a sign old fling’s back on?
FELLA’S ACTING SO ODD
MY partner has stopped paying attention to me and I’m convinced it’s because he’s sleeping with the woman next door again.
He was like this the last time they had a fling in 2018 – overnight I went from being the most important person in his life to being a nobody.
I’d come in from work and he wouldn’t even look up. I’d ask why he hadn’t answered my calls all day (he’s always worked from home) and he’d become defensive and aggressive.
He’d accuse me of checking up on him and being a control freak.
At bedtime, I’d suggest sex and he’d tell me I looked unattractive and fat. I’d beg him to tell me what was wrong and he’d blast that being with me was the biggest mistake of his life.
Eventually, the truth came out when a poison pen letter was pushed through our letterbox one Saturday morning.
The mystery “friend” warned me that my man was cheating on me. They said that other neighbours were disgusted by his “blatant behaviour” and that I needed to rein him in to restore “moral order” to the village. That was me told.
It didn’t take me long to break him down. In fact, he sang like a
canary once I threatened to call in all the money he owes me.
Things were fine for a while. In fact, he was very nice while we were both working from home during the depths of lockdown.
But he’s definitely got a funny air about him now. I’m back in my office, in town, and I fear he’s resumed his old affair.
I’ve warned him that if I get another poison pen letter, it’ll definitely be the end. But again, he’s started blaming me for all the problems in his life. What did I ever do to deserve this?
JANE SAYS: Clearly, your instincts are telling you that
your man is up to his old tricks again. Back in 2018 he humiliated you by sleeping with the woman next door.
Now you’re back in your office and you can sense danger. Once again, your man is acting strangely – he’s distracted and can’t be spoken to.
Does he still owe you that large sum of money? Does he realise how close he’s sailing to the wind?
Ultimately, you have to be able to trust him and he needs to hear that you won’t be humiliated or spoken to like trash. Just what is going
on in his mind? Sit him down and make it clear that this is crunch time. Too much has gone on in recent times for you to put up with being disrespected and insulted.
Has he resurrected his affair with your neighbour or is something else going on?
If he’s not happy with you, why does he stick around?
Make it clear that the kind of relationship you crave involves love, kindness and loyalty. If he’s not able to deliver or meet you halfway, then it’s time for him to cough up and clear off. Is that what he wants?