From high-flier to the school skivvy
MISSING MY TOP CAREER
I’M sick of being like a drudge.
Before having my children I ran a major company. I travelled the world, I negotiated multimillion pound contracts and had the ear and admiration of many industry professionals.
Now I’m treated like a doormat by everyone from family members to the mums at school.
My sons (eight and 10) are adorable but a lot of hard work.
My partner works at a teaching hospital putting in long shifts, so I often feel like a single mum.
My parents could help me out but choose not to. They never approved of my high-flying career (jealousy, I suspect) and are very much of the “you’re not so clever now” school of thinking. If anything, they expect me to run around after them like the kids.
I’m someone who likes to get involved so, over the years, I’ve volunteered at our local church and homeless shelter as well as the boys’ school.
But I seem to have mug written all over my face because if someone can give me a toilet to clean or sink to unplug, then they will.
During one PTA fundraiser I baked all cakes, manned the bar and cleaned the hall while everyone else had a lovely time. On my way out, the headteacher barked at me for not mopping the floor treated
or putting out the rubbish. I was so exhausted I nearly cried. What’s happened to me?
I used to be clever, funny and well-paid. People used to listen when I spoke. How have I lost my identity and any respect anyone ever had for me?
I’m the woman who once flew first class, drove a sports car and had dirty sex with a multimillionaire in the south of France just for the heck of it.
JANE SAYS: You may have temporarily lost your mojo, but nothing is for ever and you will rise again.
At the moment you are
focusing on your children and the home; you’re doing sterling work during a very difficult time and holding everything together.
It can’t be easy having a partner who is away so much or parents who don’t appear to be completely on side.
The fact is that you’re a kind, hard-working person and this is simply a moment in time. Your children won’t be young for ever and circumstances will change.
From now on, you must start as you mean to go on.
Don’t allow anyone to take advantage of you and don’t
be a martyr. Those school fundraisers will soon start to resume but don’t feel obliged to do everything – you’re not superhuman. Everything will still go ahead even if you’re not around.
Equally don’t allow your parents to put you down or doubt you – is an adult heartto-heart long overdue?
If you’re not ready to return to work yet, fine. But when the day comes, when you choose to dip your toe in the world of business again, go for it. You may have to do a bit of retraining but I’m sure you will go far once again.