Wild boy wants to get naughty again
BEGS ME FOR SEX PARTIES
MY partner’s pushing for the open relationship he’s always fantasised about.
He says monogamy has never suited his “wild boy” personality.
Apparently the past 14 months have been torture for him. Being cooped up with me has left him feeling like a caged animal and he’s ready to spread his wings.
Would it be so terrible if he slept with other women while I tried out other men? Wouldn’t it feel liberating to see an attractive person in the street and have great sex with them – just for the pure joy of being spontaneous?
He says we could even mixand-match and throw swinging and sex parties too.
He’s insisting that too much time has been wasted hiding behind closed doors and his lion is ready to roar.
Dating
This is not the first time he’s mentioned this plan – it was all he ever talked about before the pandemic.
When we first got together he was playing the field after an unhappy marriage. I was one of four women he was dating and life was complicated.
In the end I gave him an ultimatum – it’s them or me – and he moved in here. It’s just been us two ever since, but I know the
idea of an open relationship consumes him.
He likes to think of himself as a free spirit. That’s fine for him, but what about me? I’m not interested in sharing him.
The thought of finding other guys to sleep with leaves me cold.
How do I make him understand he’s all I want and that I need him to dedicate himself solely to me?
JANE SAYS: I don’t agree that this is a good time to start sleeping around.
We’re not out of the woods yet and people still have to exercise extremely safe sex.
What about personal responsibility? Open relationships aren’t uncommon.
They work for certain people, but if you’re not on board, then the idea isn’t going to work no matter how much he begs.
You want him all to yourself – and that’s perfectly understandable. You love him and feel protective of the home you’ve built together.
Why should you be prepared to share? He may believe the grass is greener on the other side but why aren’t you enough for him?
You have to find out from
him if this idea is ever going to go away. Is it a relationship-breaker for him?
Don’t feel obliged to do his bidding just because you’re worried about disappointing him. Also, you have to consider the possibility of him falling in love with someone new because it’s very hard to separate sex from an emotional attachment.
If he insists that the life you have isn’t enough for him, then does he need to branch out on his own?
Is this his way of telling you that the relationship has run its course?