‘Love god’ is such a letdown in sack
BOASTS ARE ALL HOT AIR
MY lover likes to boast that he’s a stud but he’s absolutely hopeless in bed.
He has no stamina, imagination or rhythm. We’ve been intimate a dozen times and, if anything, he’s getting worse.
He’s a great one for grand gestures. The other night he lit a few candles, poured some wine and suggested an early night. My heart sank.
Up in the bedroom he’d sprinkled rose petals on the duvet and arranged some expensive lingerie on the pillow, which he encouraged me to put on.
I emerged from the bathroom to find him ready for action…
We started kissing and I began to feel that we’d turned a corner. I felt sexy and hot.
Faking
But then he attempted intercourse and everything turned to jelly. He kept hissing “talk dirty, talk dirty” but the more he huffed and puffed the more he lost his mojo. Then he pretended to orgasm but I knew he was faking.
He muttered about needing a shower and was in there for ages. By the time he got out I was up, dressed and calling a taxi.
We rowed because he said he wanted to “go again”. He asked if I’d be turned on if he wore the lingerie and I said: “Of course”,
but the moment had passed and I left. He’s a good looking guy and I think I could forgive him anything if he didn’t keep going on about how great he is.
I’m sick of hearing how much his ex-girlfriends lusted after him when I’ve never been close to climaxing in his company.
Mates tell me they’re wildly jealous and I’m very lucky. Only I’m acutely aware that his trumpet is as limp as a lettuce and wildly out of tune.
JANE SAYS: I suspect your boyfriend is acutely aware of his problem. Perhaps he brags to deflect from reality.
But pretending to be a love god when he falls at the first hurdle isn’t doing either of you any favours.
You have to talk to him away from the bedroom before you say something you’ll later regret.
Gently ask him to level with you. Is he stressed? Worried about money? Or has he been hiding a secret?
If he’s still in love with someone else, then you deserve to hear the truth.
Leave him in no doubt you aren’t ready to give up on him but he has to level with you. It’s possible that he has
a health condition or is confused about his sexuality.
Encourage him to speak to his GP if there is an underlying condition that needs to be addressed.
You and he can also read up on ED (erectile dysfunction or impotence) at nhs.uk. Treatment can include medication such as Viagra, which is available from pharmacies. A man no longer needs a prescription, but is asked a few questions by the pharmacist.
Ultimately, it may be that you and he decide to simply stay friends. Not everyone is sexually compatible.