Clear your Desk, Don
FORMER President Donald Trump was forced to take down his new blog after it was mocked for its low online traffic.
The 29-day-old site, From the Desk of Donald J Trump, which he billed as a “revolutionary social media platform”, was shared just 1,500 times on Twitter and Facebook.
Before his ban from social media giants, the posts of Trump, left, would often garner millions of retweets and shares. Failed President and now failed blogger. I’ve had bread that lasted longer.
★★★★★
BEARING in mind how crazy America is, its agony aunts have long had their work cut out.
Last week, Prudence was asked for advice from a frustrated wife. She told how her fully vaccinated husband wears a mask for everything – even during sex. The woman signed off her letter: “Maskless and alone.”
Turns out Prudie may not be the greatest agony aunt, however. She palmed the wife off telling her to send her husband to a therapist.
Could have saved herself the price of a stamp for that nugget of advice.
★★★★★
STOP anyone in the States and they’ll tell you they have the greatest military in the world.
Ask anyone in Bulgaria, however, and they will tell you the Yanks have the worst.
Last week it emerged US soldiers with the 173rd Airborne Brigade were conducting training at the decommissioned Cheshnegirovo Air Base near Plovdiv. Sadly for them, they stormed an innocent factory with their weapons drawn and terrorised workers.
★★★★★
WEST Virginians who get the Covid vaccine will be entered into a draw to win prizes, including custom firearms.
Governor Jim Justice proudly announced the latest initiative by a state government to boost inoculation efforts among flagging Americans.
“To be eligible, you have got to get your first shot,” said Justice.
Let’s hope he means with a needle, not his gun. Just nuts.
★★★★★
A MAN living in San Francisco has finally returned a double album by Bob Dylan, right, to an Ohio library.
It was overdue by 48 years.
★★★★★
AND FINALLY...
STILL trying to lose weight, I thought my barman Richard had run out of excuses. This week, however, he turned around and said: “Covid is really getting to me. I can’t believe I’ve not been to a gym in five whole years.”