Building a future may end our love
FALL-OUT OVER DIY PROJECT
DOING up this tearing us apart.
I thought I knew my girlfriend but she’s being so difficult and unreasonable that I’m struggling to recognise her.
She wants “top of the range” and she wants it now. She refuses to compromise on anything from the quality of the kitchen to the carpet and our budget is spiralling out of control.
I imagined doing up a wreck together would be satisfying and fun. I pictured us spending blissful days painting walls and creating a loving, unique home.
Only she’s got hold of every interiors magazine on the market and become the Imelda Marcos of taps and tiles. house is
Stressful
Suddenly everything is about impressing her friends and embracing the latest trends. I don’t even like roll tops baths but apparently we’re having two.
She complains that the whole project is super-stressful but it’s all of her own making.
We bought this place at auction. We knew it was a tip but it’s in a good location. We assumed we’d be able to do most of the work ourselves but have been forced to bring in professionals.
And we clash there too because she is unspeakably rude
to all of our tradespeople. I go around the whole time apologising behind her back. She doesn’t realise it, but two guys have already walked off the job after branding her a nightmare. Forget bridezilla – she’s a buildzilla – and it’s not pretty.
I often find myself looking at her and thinking: “I really don’t like you” and our sex life is suffering as a result.
JANE SAYS: You and your girl were naïve to think that a major refurbishment was going to be anything other than extremely dirty, expensive and stressful.
Don’t you watch Grand Designs or Homes Under the Hammer? OK, I confess I’m addicted to property porn – sorry – property programmes, where nothing ever goes smoothly, but surely you must have realised that this project would be fraught from the start?
No-one could blame for your girl for wanting the place to look great, but nothing gives her the right to treat people like rubbish. Who does she think she is?
Get her on her own and insist she calms down and remembers her manners
before you have no tradespeople left.
As for the finish, of course she wants the place to look great but it’s not the Palace of Versailles. We all have to work to a budget and be realistic. If she’s being egged on by judgmental friends then she needs to take stock.
Make it clear that you don’t want to fall out over this, but you refuse to allow this property to become a money pit.
Your relationship needs to be protected or the house will end up the market and you’ll both end up single.
Is that what she wants?