ANYONE FOR CONKERS?
Or a bloody good game of tiddlywinks, bog snorkelling, welly-wanging or cheese rolling?
FOOTBALL is stupid and so are penalties, we decided late last night. Instead, we should by STAR REPORTER focus on proper sports like the FOOTBALL conkers is world depressing championship and stupid. in Maybe October. we can find another sport to beat the world?
ENGLAND fans wept tears in 13million beers last night after the Three Lions missed the chance to end 55 years of hurt.
There were scenes of heartbreak and agony in pubs, gardens and living rooms across the country as our football party turned into a wake.
Italy broke the Three Lions’ hearts as they won 3-2 in a penalty shootout after a 1-1 draw at Wembley.
We might as well just play conkers – because that’s just as stupid as deciding the continent’s biggest sporting competition with kicking a ball from 12 yards.
England had hoped to make history by ending the longest hoodoo in international football.
The more than half-century gap between their iconic 1966 World Cup win and last night’s final was the longest any nation has had to wait between major successes.
The final turned into another heartbreaker for the fans and manager Gareth Southgate – whose Euro 96 penalty shootout miss as a player cost the Three Lions a place in the final.
Sick
Despite last night’s agonising defeat he will stay on as manager and is set to land a new contract.
Bookies took a massive hit as fans bet a record £50million on the match.
More than 60% of Britain’s workforce is expected to be either off or working from home today after pub opening hours were extended in anticipation of a historic victory.
Bosses have braced themselves for at least 250,000 calling in sick.
But two hours before kick-off scores of desperate, ticketless fans tried to storm the stadium.
They breached the outer security cordon and were chased up steps and round the back of the stands by stewards and police. Several had to be forcibly ejected.
Though it was not to be for England, the result sparked joy for the 300,000 Italian expats who partied into the early hours in restaurants across the country.
It was Italy’s first final for nine years and their first major victory since the 2006 World Cup.