Grubby hubby is back after affair
HE JUST FREAKS ME OUT
I’M terrified my husband’s affair is coming to an end.
He’s been sleeping with an ex-friend of mine for the best part of three years.
But now I hear she’s moving away and I’m freaked out. I don’t want him coming back, wanting to sleep with me again.
Alarm bells are ringing because he’s started being nice.
He’s bought me flowers and horrible underwear and told me that I look great.
Mistake
More than once he’s mentioned local restaurants we could visit and hotels we could book.
This from a man who not only forgot my last two birthdays, but gave me a Christmas present intended for his mistress (a bottle of expensive perfume) and snatched it out of my hands when he realised his mistake.
The other night I was doing the washing up when he came in and put his arms around my waist. I instantly froze and hissed at him: “Get off.”
He wouldn’t. Instead he started waffling on about how lovely it would be if we renewed our wedding vows. I did nothing more than spin round and rub the dirty dishcloth in his face.
He must think I was born yesterday. For the past three years
he’s lied through his teeth. When the affair first started I begged him to come clean and he accused me of being mad.
Since then he’s lived his life on his terms, seeing her several times a week while pretending to visit his mother. We’ve not had sex or shared a civil word.
Apparently, his woman has decided to make a go of things with her husband and is moving back to her home town for a fresh start. Meanwhile, I’m stuck with a man whose skin is so thick he simply assumes he can pick up where he left off.
JANE SAYS: Why are you still
with this man when he clearly makes your flesh creep? For the past three years he’s been sneaking around with someone you once considered a friend.
Now their love affair looks like it’s coming to an end and he thinks he can simply slip back into the old routine.
From forgetting your birthdays to neglecting you in bed, he has shown himself to be selfish and cruel.
You don’t say whether or not you have children.
But they must have been adversely affected by his distance and the toxic atmosphere
in the house. I get it that you’re angry and feel deeply insulted, but you have to find the strength to talk about where you go from here. Take turns to speak and insist that the other listens.
Make it clear that you know all about his affair and his lover’s new plans, so he’s not to insult your intelligence with any more lies. Why should you have him back?
He can’t simply assume that everything is fine again.
Do you deserve a better life, one in which you’re not routinely insulted and humiliated? I think you do.