‘Empty nest’ has me hitting bottle
NIGHTLY BINGES OF WINE
EMPTY nest syndrome is making me drink too much.
Wine and vodka have become my crutch. I can’t stand the fact that the house is so quiet and tidy.
I flop down in front of the telly after work and reach for something to “take the edge off”.
Two bottles of wine or half a bottle of vodka later and I’m weeping into my photo albums.
Just a year ago this place was teeming with my twins and their mates.
My son is at university, while my daughter is an apprentice living with her boyfriend and his family.
Their father and I split up years ago and friends fell by the wayside as the kids grew up.
If anything, I feel guilty about the way I used to nag the kids about leaving a mess and making noise.
Weekends are the worst. I used to look forward to Friday nights with all the madness that ensued – now I dread the silence.
I know they’ll be back for a couple of days at Christmas, but then my boy’s going skiing and my girl is back at work on December 29. They have their own lives now.
I wonder if it’ll be worth having them here at all, since saying goodbye will be so hard. Plus, I’m
ashamed of the woman I’ve become. I look terrible; I’m bloated and puffy, and my skin is awful. I know that I won’t be able to get through the festive season without boozing.
Perhaps I should put them off now in order to save myself from inevitable hurt and heartbreak in the New Year?
JANE SAYS: It’s very brave of you to open up and describe the tough time you’re having.
I suspect your story resonates with a lot of parents.
A lot has happened in the past few months, and no one
would blame you for finding it hard to adapt and cope.
Healthy family chaos has been replaced by an eery silence. But drink is not the answer to your problems.
I know it might be tempting to plonk down with a glass of something to numb the pain, but alcohol is addictive and it’s a depressant.
It’s extremely worrying that you’re getting through as much as two bottles of wine or half a bottle of vodka at a time.
Please find the strength to reach out for help.
Consider speaking to your
GP and also check out alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk.
I know you don’t wish to worry your children, but is there an old friend or other relative you could speak to for help? You need support.
Having the kids home for Christmas will be lovely, no matter how long their visit.
Don’t be tempted to put them off because getting used to a different family vibe is necessary and possible.
You will get through this. You’ve done a brilliant job; you’ve given them confidence and wings, but this is your time to shine and fly too.