Tot plea by eco pal simply out of order
TOLD TO STOP AT ONE KID
MY friend says I’m selfish for wanting a second child.
She says I owe it to the planet to stop at one son.
But she has four children aged 10 to 19. She claims things were different in 2011 when her youngest daughter was born.
We didn’t know about all the threats to the environment back then and, anyway, her girl was an accident. She doesn’t believe in abortion and went through with the pregnancy for moral reasons.
Blazing
The difference with me, apparently, is that I have a choice. I’m choosing to bring another life into this world – and that’s indulgent and wrong.
When I accuse her of double standards and even hypocrisy, she doesn’t deny it, but says this is a complex and important issue and that I can’t blame her for what has gone before.
She’s someone I’ve known for 20 years and I’m sick of her bossing me around.
She insists she only ever has my best interests at heart, but how come she always gets to do what she wants, while I’m constantly told what’s good for me?
Over the years she’s bawled at me for everything from owning a sports car to going on foreign holidays. But when I go round to
her place, all of the lights are blazing and her kids are glued to electronic devices.
My partner claims she’s jealous that I’m contemplating another baby when she’d probably like another one herself.
Could that be true? Could the person who claims to be my best mate be so petty and resentful?
JANE SAYS: Tell your friend to get on with her life while you get on with yours.
As long as you can love, feed and nurture your family, then how many children you ultimately end up having is up to you. No-one denies
that over-population is a serious issue and the planet faces many challenges but I get the impression this is personal and she’s using the green stick to beat you with.
You are an individual and you must make your own decisions based on your circumstances, your conscience and any research you may care to carry out.
Absolutely nothing gives her the right to shame or curtail you.
I suspect your partner speaks a lot of truth.
Don’t forget that he’s observing the nature of your
friendship with this woman from a distance.
Clearly, he can see her for what she is.
If she’s guilty of denting your confidence and bossing you around, then is she a true friend at all?
Do you need her nagging in your ear as you move forward?
I’m inclined to think she’s a controlling piece of work and is someone who gets a kick out of making you doubt yourself and pushing you around…
Time to review this toxic association?