I can’t go on with girl’s sex parties
SICK OF PARTNER SWAPS
I’M worried that if I don’t go along with my girlfriend’s plans, she’ll dump me.
She is highly successful and used to getting her own way. She boasts that she likes to work hard and play harder…
To this end she enjoys organising sex parties and orgies. She picks a theme such as pirates and princesses or Amazons and vicars so everyone dresses up.
She likes putting people together in edgy situations and watching the sparks fly.
She hunts down characters on specialist group chats who she believes will add fizz and imagination to her gatherings.
I’ve seen things on our supersized bed, in our hot tub and down in our “games room” that would make your eyes water.
But I’m done with all. I’ve been hurt and humiliated too many times to find her tricks funny or sexy any more.
About a year ago everything changed. I crashed my car after drinking too much. I was lucky not to have killed someone, let alone myself. Then I was made redundant and one of my oldest friends tragically died.
Today I’m sober and working for the charity that supported my friend at the end. I’m no longer interested in cheap thrills and egotistical game-playing. She’s currently planning a party for next month that sounds too kinky for me. But she won’t listen when I ask her to put it off.
I also can’t stand the thought of her with anyone else. The other night we had an almighty row about expectations. Apparently, I disappoint her every time I hold back or question her moves.
She’s demanding I let it all hang out but how can I when my heart’s not in it?
JANE SAYS: In this life we need to be true to ourselves. But sadly, it sounds as if you’ve been playing a character for too long. Your girlfriend thinks you’re on the same page as her, but you’ve sobered up and moved on.
You once thought you could handle swinging and orgies. You thought your relationship was strong enough to survive other lovers, but you were wrong.
You don’t like seeing your girl with other sexual partners, so face it – partnerswapping isn’t for you.
But as it is for your girlfriend, you and she really need to have a frank and honest conversation.
I urge you to come clean and start being truthful with her. Tell her, away from the bedroom, that you just can’t do this any more.
You can’t handle the pressure and need to go back to where you were before – in a monogamous relationship.
What does she think about that? Is she prepared to turn back the clock and solely have sex with you?
I’ve got a horrible feeling that your relationship is on the rocks already. Get your sexual health checked out and give yourself space.
Be prepared to make some big decisions.