JUST A ROLL OF THE DYCE

Sam can save Leeds

WHEN I picked my son up from football training the coach said: “I think he’ll be a regular Gary Lineker when he gets older.”

“Really”, I replied. “You think he’s that good at football?”

“No, I didn’t mean football, he’s just becoming a right little t***.”

I once had to do a presentation in front of Lineker, Martin Clunes and King Chas. They were all ears.

I wonder if they’ve had to adjust the King’s bling headwear due to the size of his ears?

Chas is set to get a crown today. Which just goes to show that being a royal must help get you a dental appointment. I’ve been waiting months for one.

Chas will be now taking over the royal duties, which pretty much involves just shaking hands with people. Perhaps Wall’s or Richmond could make him some suitable sausage-skin gloves.

Brits have been invited to swear allegiance to King Charles at the

Coronation.

Not on your Nelly pal. But I promise that if I see your brother Prince Andrew I will swear loudly at him.

I’m not too sure about the King and royalty nonsense.

The only reason Chas is on the throne and not you or I, is that his ancestors were bigger thugs than our ancestors.

Big Sam Allardyce takes his throne again as a Premier League boss and he’s talking up his credentials.

He reckons: “I might be 68 and look old and antiquated but there’s nobody ahead of me in football terms – not Pep, not (Jurgen) Klopp, not (Mikel) Arteta.”

If the results are even a fraction as strong as his confidence, I reckon he’ll keep them up.

LEEDS to avoid relegation: Skybet – 5/4