Our man in America Civil war for Republicans
SINCE ousting House of Congress speaker Kevin McCarthy, repugnant Republican Matt Gaetz has basked in glory.
The move plunged their party into chaos, leading many to question the Florida politician’s desire to have him removed.
Well, McCarthy provided his theory. “I’ll give you the truth why I’m not speaker,” he said while appearing at Georgetown University in Washington. “Because one person, a member of Congress, wanted me to stop an ethics complaint because he slept with a 17-year-old – an ethics complaint that started before I ever became speaker.
“And that’s illegal and I’m not gonna get in the middle of it. Did he do it or not? I don’t know.” And to think these guys are on the same side.
★★★★★
DELTA Air Lines passenger Lisa Archbold claims she was kicked off a flight for not wearing a bra.
Scheduled to travel from Salt Lake City to San Francisco, she stated that airline staff objected to her attire of a loose white T-shirt.
Archbold complained: “I was dressed similarly to any man. Moreover, my physique is less pronounced than that of many male passengers. Where does Delta set its standard?”
★★★★★
AN escaped mountain goat that somehow got stuck under a Kansas City bridge has survived a rocky rescue effort and may now be reunited with its owners, who suspect he was stolen from their farm.
“Forget a solar eclipse. We were on goat watch,” said Tori Fugate of the KC Pet Project.
★★★★★
KENTUCKY’S Jesse Kipf had quite the solution to evade shelling out more than $100,000 in child support to his former missus.
In a stroke of sheer ingenuity – or so he thought – the 39-year-old decided to fake his own death. Kipf hacked into the Hawaii death registry system in January 2023 and created a case for his own passing.
★★★★★
A NINE-year-old boy who missed his school bus drove himself to class in his mother’s car.
Cop Terry Dunn with the Oroville California Highway Patrol said: “I did notice a little head bobbing inside – unusual.
“I exited my patrol vehicle and as I was approaching, I could see a kid, which turned out to be a nine-year-old child sticking his head out saying, ‘I’m sorry, I was trying to get to school.’”
AND FINALLY...
THE standard of American driving has to rank as one of the worst in the world, with lane-hogging on another level. Last week, I drove past a sign that read: “Camp in the woods, not the left lane.”