YOUR POEMS Christmas

The Madness of 2020 by Carolyn McShane

2020, oh what a year

It’s one we won’t forget

And the festive bubble planning

Is our biggest challenge yet.

Our shopping’s done on Amazon And successful eBay bids

But this means you see your postman More often than your kids.

We’ve missed out on our holidays And nights out with our friends Instead we’re watching Boris

And his graphs of Covid trends. R-rate, furlough, lockdown

The rules within your tier

Get your grandma on to Zoom calls Cause you’re not allowed to see her. We’ve stayed at home, we’ve been alert And done as we were told

We’ve met our friends on walks outside The virus hates the cold.

We’ve worn our masks (but some have not)

When in a public place Remembering the mantra “Hands, face and space”.

We’ve painted sheds and fences Until our hands were sore and aching On rainy days do yoga

And another batch of baking. There are obvious advantages

Of never going far

Our joggers are so comfy

And who needs to wear a bra?

As 2020 nears its end

I’m starting to reflect

On life in a pandemic Against the one we all expect. Of course I’ve missed my travels Warm sunshine on the coast

But the warmth of hugs from family Is the thing I’ve missed the most. I wish you peace at Christmas As 2020 goes to hell

Let’s hope this brand new year Brings a world alive and well.

Those Unwanted Christmas presents

by Marilyn Clampitt

I know good intentions by you were meant

But I hope this year you have not brought me any more scent?

I’m sure if you’d smelt it first you’d have to agree

It was just like a bottle of some cat’s wee Know you’ve not seen me for a while but hopefully this year you don’t get it wrong

Regretfully it’s now Bridget Jones knickers I wear not those tiny little thongs

Don’t want any boxes of fattening chocolates, eating them I get carried away

So I’m going to drop hints and ask for Maltesers if I may

Know I’m getting on in years but I’m not ready for my rocking chair yet

Still like my fancy mules for bedtime, not these old-fashioned slippers you did get

CDs I’ve now got quite a few Anything this year especially by Otis Redding will do

Often ask for Cliff although not his Mistletoe and Wine

Although a bottle of the real thing would be fine

This all makes me sound ungrateful but really I’m not

So I guess I should be thankful for everything I’ve got

Just hope about my presents this Christmas you stop to think, will these for her be okay?

Getting it right this year will certainly make me a happy Christmas Day

With a Ho, Ho, Ho

by Keith J Furnival Christmas lights, on our Christmas tree. Shining out so bright, brings to us wonder and glee.

It’s that time of year, with Santa on his way. Rudolph and the reindeers, making ready with the sleigh. We can’t let Covid 19, spoil all our fun. Waiting for a vaccine, that might never come. With a ho ho ho, and festive joys.

Let the merry season glow, for all the girls and boys. A magical time in every home, let nothing dampen our day. No government clown, or police pepper spray. Please take this advice, let Christmas go with a blast. Don’t act like sheep and mice, this one could be our last.

The Christmas Run-up

by Viv Wigley

The kids have broke up and they’re ready to sing out of key, all the carols they’ve learnt, the Turkey’s deep frozen and ready to thaw to be ritually roasted and burnt. The socks are all wrapped, with the various undies along with a strange aftershave, that was bought from a man on the back of a van and smells like it’s come back from the grave.

The TV guide’s read, and now outlined in red are the programmes to watch, so no messing, at the top of the list Christmas day won’t be missed are the soaps, which are always depressing.

The cards are all pegged on a bit of frayed string waving backwards and forth like a fan, and all over the room half inflated balloons that look like the head of your Nan. The cat’s had a sniff of a very odd whiff from a present that’s shaped like a bone, when it sees what it’s got, it’ll run like a shot and hide under the bed, all alone. The drinks that each year all the visitors fear are lined up and ready to drink, Advocaat and egg nog, other curious grog most of which will end up down the sink. Air fresheners put out (aftermath of the sprouts), and a wreath hanging up on the gate, for the year we’ve just had, which has really been bad stay at home and keep safe- Celebrate!