Why this family are on duty every Christmas to help those suffering grief and tragedy
A.W. LYMN THE FAMILY FUNERAL SERVICE CHAIRMAN NIGEL LYMN ROSE TELLS WHY HE IS DEVOTED TO HELPING PEOPLE THROUGH TRAGEDY AND WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO CELEBRATE THE LIFE OF THOSE WHO WE HAVE LOST
THE Wendy house appeared in the garden, as if by magic, on Christmas morning. The two sisters couldn’t believe their eyes when they came downstairs and made the exciting discovery.
Within minutes Mum and Dad presented each of them with a card containing their very own keys.
It was touch and go if the showpiece present would be ready in time. Dad, George Rose, hadn’t finished work at A.W. Lymn The Family Funeral Service (A.W. Lymn) until 4am, and then he had the Wendy House to complete. He didn’t get to sleep a wink that Christmas.
It wasn’t unusual for the family to hold back their Christmas Day celebrations - George could be called out at any minute to help those who were dealing with tragedy.
But he and his wife Sheila, the children and wider extended family were always happy to delay their plans, to ensure that those devastated by grief at this important time of the year could receive the dedicated service that they deserved.
Calling for an undertaker is not something we want to do during times of celebration and joy, and when these calls have to be made over Christmas it can be particularly poignant.
Having been in the funeral profession for over 50 years, Nigel Lymn Rose, son of George Rose and greatgrandson of Arthur
William Lymn, the co-founder of A.W. Lymn, knows only too well how difficult this is.
Like his father, Nigel has spent countless Christmas holidays on call, serving the local community during their time of need.
Founded in 1907, A.W. Lymn now has 27 funeral homes in Nottingham, Derby and Mansfield, operating a 24/7 helpline and a range of funeral services, including burials, cremations, religious and nonreligious ceremonies.
Nigel is passionate about his profession and believes it is vital that those who lose someone they love get the opportunity to celebrate their life as they bid farewell.
“We are on call 24/7 no matter what time of year and are ready to help anyone who may need our services,” he said.
“There are so many different types of funerals that people can opt for these days, and they all offer people the chance to celebrate the life of the loved one they have lost, which is so important.
“You don’t have to spend a fortune to do that. Each funeral is special and we strive to ensure we provide the best quality service that each of our customers deserve.”
This year, like every other year, A.W. Lymn will be providing support to residents of Nottinghamshire over the Christmas period and into the New Year should they need it.
PROFESSIONAL CARE AT ALL TIMES
Wendy houses and delayed turkey dinners are just a few of the many childhood memories that Nigel has of his dad and uncle covering busy shifts over the festive period at A.W. Lymn. They were his inspiration as he came to take over the family business after he graduated from university and worked in a global finance firm.
Nigel says: “If a death occurred in the community, either at someone’s home or in residential care, we always had someone in the office to take the call and make arrangements to collect the deceased or meet with their family to discuss funeral arrangements.
“On one particular Christmas Eve, I remember my father didn’t come home until well past our bedtime. In the morning my two sisters were given a Christmas card with a key to a Wendy house he had built over-night after being on a shift - he hadn’t slept at all on that day.
“Sometimes we would have to wait until the afternoon when he was awake to open our presents. Other times he would have to leave just as the turkey was coming out of the oven and we were about to sit down for dinner.
“Although he was often away for a good part of Christmas, he would always try to make up for it by spending time with us when he could. It’s all part of our job and a service that we always provide year after year.”
While Christmas duties may not have altered at A.W. Lymn, the 2020 pandemic has certainly presented the family business with some new challenges with a raft of restrictions being placed on funerals.
Nigel says: “While working this year, I have seen some very difficult situations for families as a result of the Covid-19 restrictions.
“In one instance mourners were told there was one too many in their group, and they were left with the difficult decision of having to decide which one couldn’t enter a cemetery for a funeral service.
“There was also an initial worry about running out of storage capacity for the recently deceased.
“It has been difficult, but to deal with the issues a lot of funeral providers in Nottingham authorities have been working together to organise funerals faster during the pandemic, and make the paperwork process easier.
“As a result, we managed to organise funerals within a few days of the person passing away.”
WORKING WITH PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT FAITHS AND COMMUNITIES
A .W. Lymn recognises that as Christmas is marked in different ways across the community, so are funerals - with half of the services they now provide being nonreligious.
Nigel says: “Christmas is not seen as a religious festival by all of the clients we serve. Although it is still a chance for people to come together with their families and enjoy a time of celebration - even for those who don’t follow a particular faith.
“Over 50% of the funerals we now conduct are for people who do not declare themselves as religious. We have a celebrant who ensures all the requirements of these services are taken care of.
“Our ‘memory tree’ is another nonreligious way we celebrate the lives of those who have passed. People who have had a bereavement in the last year are invited to write a message for their loved one and hang it up on the branches.
“It has become more popular each year. Over the pandemic, we’ve had thousands of people e-mailing in wording for their messages, and it’s just a small, cost-free gesture to help celebrate their loved one’s life.”
A.W. Lymn has a tradition of working with the traveller community across the country to help them with their funeral arrangements. Typically these have been large gatherings, which have faced COVID restrictions.
Nigel is dedicated to continuing to help the community.
He said: “As company chairman I have taken a back step in the day to day running of the business. But I have continued to help arrange funerals for the traveller community and have been pleased to do so, especially during this difficult time.”
But one funeral trend that Nigel does not recommend without very careful consideration is direct cremation funerals - which began in the USA - these are cremation only funerals at an undisclosed time with no mourners in attendance.
He said: “I do not think this is a beneficial way for a mourner to mark the end of a loved ones life. Funerals are important to celebrate the life of a person who has passed. This is important for the mental health of those who have lost loved ones, and is one of the reasons I am so passionate about my profession.”
“We will provide this funeral at a rate similar to national firms that advertise them on TV, but we do ask those selecting this service to think carefully about their decision.”
ADVICE ON HOW TO DEAL WITH DEATH AT CHRISTMAS
We’ve all heard the phrase ‘death stops for no-one’, but that doesn’t make losing a special someone at an unexpected time any easier.
Nigel says: “Dealing with a death in the family at Christmas is a doubly sad time for many people. Some families choose not to celebrate Christmas at all, but others will continue to do so for the sake of any young children involved.
“I think that children are better at handling a bereavement than a lot of adults think they are. Some families don’t allow their young people to attend a funeral, but others give them the choice to say goodbye to the person that has passed away if they choose to.”
A.W. Lymn employs the services of Anne-Marie Lawrence-Smith as a grief support assistant, who has a pedigree in supporting the bereaved through their difficult times.
Anne-Marie runs six evening sessions throughout the year and allows the bereaved an opportunity to interact with others in similar circumstances, and offers support when you need it most.