‘I can’t believe a year has passed’: Grieving daughter describes losing mum in first days of lockdown
A WOMAN whose mother was among the first 300 people nationally to die from Covid back in March 2020 has described how “scared and alone” the 70-year-old had felt in her last days without any family members permitted to be by her side.
Micheala Ryan, 48, of Oakwood, has paid tribute to her mother Jackie Blanche, who died a year ago after a brief time in near-isolation at the Royal Derby Hospital, just weeks after her 70th birthday.
Mrs Blanche, of Spondon, was taken to hospital two days before the UK first went into lockdown and was immediately placed into isolation on a “do not resuscitate” (DNR) order. She died a week later on March 28 without any family members present, leaving behind her husband Alan, now 72, and two daughters, Micheala and Andrea. In her brief time in hospital Mrs Blanche was only able to communicate with the outside world via video calls on an iPad.
Mrs Ryan said: “She’d just had her 70th birthday and in March she’d had her 50th wedding anniversary. We weren’t able to celebrate either of them, or visit her for Mother’s Day. She spent a week in hospital then died.
“At that point nobody could visit. It was very early on. We tried and tried but they wouldn’t let us see her. She had her iPad with her so we videocalled her. At that time she said nobody came into her room, she was on her own.
“She felt very lonely. She was just there, scared and alone and just receiving essential treatment, nurses dropping food and leaving again. It wasn’t very dignified.
“We asked every day just to get my dad to go and see her. She wanted to die at home. She never wanted to be in hospital. Knowing she didn’t get her wish is the hardest bit.”
When her mother’s funeral was held on April 4, due to lockdown restrictions only nine people were able to attend. The rules at the time were so strict that Mrs Ryan’s father
Alan was left in isolation after his wife passed, and was forced to drive to her funeral and home again alone.
Mrs Ryan said: “My mum was my dad’s carer,” she says. “We couldn’t even go to my dad. We were worried about him. A year on he’s coping as well as he can after 50 years of marriage. He’s in a bubble with us now.”
Mrs Ryan, who works in the care sector herself, says she struggles to believe a year has gone since then.
In the year that has passed she has dedicated herself to her work, which she says provides some comfort.
She said: “I’ve thrown myself into it. Making sure we’re keeping people safe and doing everything we can. I couldn’t help my mum but I can help other people. It feels good to work in care and to know you’re doing your best for others.”
Since long before her mother was taken ill she and her family have been strictly observing restrictions, seldom leaving the house, with fears about the pandemic complicated by the fact that she and her 15-year-old daughter Lia have compromised immune systems.
Both have had their spleens removed as a measure against the rare hereditary condition spherocytosis, which Mrs Blanche also suffered with, and which was a complication in her treatment for Covid.
Mrs Ryan said: “I can’t believe a year has passed since we really went into the thick of it. It’s hard. We totally respect the guidance. I’ve not been in a shop for the last year.”
“My daughter is extremely clinically vulnerable. She’s coming up to 16 but she can’t have the vaccine until she’s 16. She’s just desperate to have some safety and security. I feel for her. It is worrying.”
With those fears in mind Mrs Ryan says she despairs at seeing people still flouting lockdown restrictions after all this time, and urges them to think of others.
She said: “We want other people to understand that this can happen to you, you’ve got to respect and adhere to the guidance. Everybody is impacted, it’s not just them. It’s so indiscriminate. I think some people are very selfish. Everybody’s got to consider other people. We’re not out of it yet, people need reminding. People think they’re above it, but they wouldn’t be saying that if their mum had died.”