When Dan came out to parents that he was gay, his dad called the doctor to ask if there was anything they could do to help him
NOW THEY JOIN HIM IN THE PRIDE EVENT HE ORGANISES
THE founder of a Derbyshire Gay Pride event has opened up about his experience as a gay man and the story of when he came out to his parents.
Dan Walker, 41, says it was a huge shock to his parents and his dad even called the doctor to see if there was anything to be done.
That was the best part of two decades ago and times have changed.
His mum and dad now join him at the Chesterfield Pride event he first organised in 2015 as a way to build bridges between the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) community and the rest of society.
Although he believes we are gradually moving in the right direction in terms of acceptance, he has spoken about some of the problems he and his peers have faced over the years.
Growing up in Spital, Chesterfield, Dan became aware of his homosexuality during his teenage years, many years before he would come out to his parents.
Although he considers himself lucky because he managed to escape a lot of bullying while he was at school, he notes that other people his age were not as fortunate.
He said: “School can be a really cruel place whether you’re gay or not, but I managed to blend into the background as much as possible.
“Others who were more assured of themselves and were maybe more feminine definitely opened themselves up more for abuse. They would get bullied constantly.”
He believes that there are a lot of misconceptions about gay men and femininity, and that as someone who likes football and isn’t as feminine, people approached him differently.
That isn’t to say Dan hasn’t faced difficulties, describing the shock his parents felt when he came out to them after his 21st birthday.
“At the point I had really accepted who I was, and I had a lot friends within the LGBT community. “We had a party for my 21st and it was this weird mix of very flamboyant people, my family members and my straight friends. After seeing that I realised I had to tell my parents.”
His parents weren’t always gayfriendly when he was growing up which made Dan extremely nervous to tell them.
“It was a massive shock to them, I don’t think they ever saw it coming. My Dad even called the doctors to ask if there was anything they could do to help me. He really didn’t take it too well. But after a few weeks of processing, he finally said he would support me.”
Fast-forward 20 years and his parents have attended Pride events across Europe with him and have truly embraced it.
Dan recognises that in a legal sense, society has moved closer to accepting the LGBT community, but still believes that there is work to stop members from receiving abuse and discrimination.
“All you have to do it look at social media and see some of the comments on there to see that we’re a long way off.
“Even in person you can see it. I’ve got friends who have been out in drag at night and they’re subjected to hurtful comments, staring and sniggering.”
With that in mind, he hopes that Chesterfield Pride, which is going ahead this year on July 18, will go some way to changing perceptions of his community.
“At the end of the day, it was never designed to be politically charged, it’s just a place where bridges can be built and conversations can be had.
“It’s a family-friendly day with live acts and market stalls, which can hopefully break a few barriers and let them know what the LGBT community is about.
“I know we won’t change everyone’s opinion, but if we can change one or two people’s perceptions then that’s what we’ll try and do.”
I’ve got friends who have been out in drag at night and they’re subjected to hurtful comments, staring and sniggering. Dan Walker